One Mistake
by LadyAzrael1994
Summary: Kilauea Alaka'i, Kila for short, loves mixed martial arts. One day she meets Leland Chapman in the gym and that night she makes a huge mistake that turns out to be the best mistake of her life. rated as a precaution for future content. Temporarily on hold (sorry!)
1. Prologue

2002

"Oh come ON Jeff! You've said it yourself, I'm practically your best fighter!"

I stood, hands on hips, glaring at my trainer. Jeff Aukanai'I was one of the top fighters in Hawai'i when it came to Mixed Martial Arts. I'd started training with him 5 years ago, when I was sixteen. I'm one of his star fighters, but he won't even let me fight a guy!

Jeff sighed.

"Kila, it's not that I don't think you can do it, I know that you can, but the tournament regulations say that guys and girls don't fight each other, bra. Therefore, you don't."

"So why won't you let me fight a guy in practice? Right now?" this was really a never ending battle between the two of us. I was tired of fighting girls who were here to get guys or to lose weight or some other shallow reason; none of them were into the sparring like I was so it was really inevitable that I would win way too easily and I was getting bored.

"Guys don't want to fight girls bra. It makes them feel bad if they win and it makes them feel worse if they lose."

"_You_ don't care if you lose," I shot back at him.

"Not if it was a good fight I don't. But most guys aren't like me Kila, you know that." He grinned his cheeky little smile at me and I had to roll my eyes and laugh.

"Ya I know." Grrr. So I'm still stuck fighting Jeff and the random little girls who came by every so often that I hadn't beaten yet.

The bell over the door jingled. I didn't pay any attention to whoever it was as I grabbed a skipping rope and started jumping.

"I'll be back in a minute Ki," Jeff said as he walked past me. I nodded, my heart rate starting to climb.

I was still skipping, my heart pounding, my breathing ragged, when Jeff came back about 10 minutes later. With him was a guy I'd seen in the gym a time or two but had never spoken to. He had long brown hair tied back in a long braid, tanned skin, lots of tattoos and great muscle tone. I could tell he was a fighter.

"Kila, this is Leland Chapman, another of my fighters." I stopped jumping as Jeff introduced us. "Leland, this is Kilauea Alaka'I, the only serious girl I've trained in years." I shook Leland's hand as he grinned.

"'Kilauea'?" he asked. I rolled my eyes and grinned, my chest heaving.

"My mother thought it was unique."

Yes, my mother named me after a volcano. She wasn't even Hawaiian, my dad was! Even people who have never been here have heard of Kilauea volcano. My name was truly a source of never ending grief. Thus, I rarely used it in its entirety.

Leland tried to contain his laughter, he really did. If he held it back much more, however, I was pretty sure he'd start choking.

"Go ahead," I muttered, "laugh it out." He did. Loudly. After a moment or so though, he managed to calm down enough to talk normally again.

"I'm sorry," he said, "really. It's just so…." He trailed off, at a loss for words.

"I know," I said, laughing a little at the look on his face. "So what's up Jeff?" I knew he must've had a reason for introducing us.

"Well, you're always bugging me about fighting a guy KIla girl, so here's a guy willing to fight you."

I looked at Leland. "Sweet. Let's go!"

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him over to the ring, where we separated to go to our different corners. I stripped off my t-shirt, so I was wearing my training bra and shorts. Jeff helped my tape my wrists and hands before going to help Leland do the same. I grabbed my water bottle, took a swig and sprayed some on my face. I was ready to go.

"Alright you two, this is just practice fight, ya? So go easy," Jeff said. I glared at him. "This isn't about you Kila, I don't need either of you getting hurt. Alright, everyone ready?" We nodded.

"Go!"

**...**

It was a good fight; a long, hard one and we were both sweating and panting by the end of it. We were both really good and fairly evenly matched. But in the end, I won. And man did it feel good.

"Good fight girl," Leland said, patting me on the back. "You too bra," I said. "You doin anything tonight?"

"Nope."

"You wanna go grab a drink somewhere?" I suggested.

"Sounds good. Let me just give my boys a call and say goodnight."

"You have kids?"

"Ya, 2 boys. Cobie and Dakota." He smiled, the proud father.

**...**

We headed out to a bar I knew where I was friends with some of the girls working there. It was where I'd celebrated my 21st birthday a few months ago. It was a nice place, with loud music, good food and good service.

We spent a few hours talking and drinking together. It was past midnight before we knew it and we were both pretty drunk.

"We, we should go," I said, my words slurring together.

"Yaaa…." Leland replied.

"You two are so not driving tonight," said our waitress, my friend Makani, said as she passed by our table. "Give me 5 minutes and I'll call you a cab."

"Thanks Maki," I said.

"I..i don't really wanna go home drunk," Leland slurred. "Bad example for, for my boys ya know?"

I hmmm-ed in agreement. "Just, come, come back to my place, you can crash on the couch," I offered.

"Thanks Kili girl."

I started giggling and suddenly I just couldn't stop. Makani came back to our table with our bill just then.

"Oh no," she said, "She's started the giggling."

"Does that happen much?" Leland asked.

"Only when she's been drinking a lot," Makani explained. She grabbed my shoulders and turned my around in my seat to face her. "Kila!" she clapped her hands together right in front of my face. It startled me enough to stop my giggling and smile sheepishly at her. She just rolled her eyes at me. "You coherent enough to pay me or do I have to dig through your purse for you?"

"Dig," I said. She laughed and reached past me for my purse, pulling out my wallet and pulling out a couple twenties before putting it back in my purse.

She was back in a few minutes with my change and helped us out to our waiting cab, paying the driver and sending us home.

We got to my place and turned on the tv for a bit. It was some romance movie that normally I'd hate but hey, we were drunk! We started getting into the movie (eyebrow wiggle) and soon enough we were having some damn good drunken sex. That one mistake turned out to be one the best mistakes of my life.


	2. Chapter 1

A special shout-out thank you to **MsMicoleKatherine** for officially being the first person to comment on/review any of my stories :D thanks! Glad you like it.

So here's chapter 1, or 2 depending how you look at it. Enjoy!

**...**

2006

Walking into my living room, it looked like a bomb had gone off. I literally froze in my tracks for a moment, balancing a plate of food and a bottle of juice while I stared and started to laugh. My daughter, Leilani Zahia Alaka'i, seemed to be the epicentre of the toy explosion; she was sitting in the middle of the room, playing with her dolls and turned when I started laughing, her big hazel eyes staring at me innocently. I just had to smile.

I left my food on the coffee table and sat down behind my girl, giving her a big hug and kiss on top of her head.

"Hi mommy," she said sweetly.

"Hi baby," I replied. "Did you make all this mess?"

She nodded. "I was looking for Ms. Sunny."

"Of course you were," I smiled. "But remember, you'll have to clean this up, ya brah?"

"I will mommy."

"Good girl," I said, moving to the couch. I grabbed the tv remote and started flipping channels. I stopped on some bounty hunting show, didn't sound terribly interesting but hey, didn't have anything else that needed doing just yet.

Some old guy with a blond mullet came on screen, yelling and swearing at various people around him. This went on for awhile until they caught the guy, then they had a nice, inspirational talk and some religion near the end. Can you tell I wasn't really paying attention? That is, until the camera turned to focus on one person in particular: a young guy, with long brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, tanned skin, lots of tattoos and great muscle tone.

And a face I recognised instantaneously. Sound familiar? I'd just happened to take a drink of juice when I saw him and I totally did a spit take. You know, one of those movie moments when someone takes a drink and it all comes spraying out? Ya, totally happened. Except a fair bit went down the wrong way and I started choking too.

"What's wrong mommy?"

My innocent little girl sat staring at me, wide eyed, as I hacked and coughed. Tears were streaming down my face as I spluttered and tried to find an answer for her.

"Nothing, baby, I'm fine," I managed, my voice still cracking in places. I went back to the kitchen, not wanting to bother her any more. I flopped into a chair; holy shit, it was him! How could it be him?

* * *

><p>I was still sitting there in shock when a key rattled in the lock and the front door opened, revealing my boyfriend of 3 years, Toni Ka'iimamao. He tossed his keys onto the counter as he slipped his shoes off on the mat.<p>

"Hey babe," he said walking over to me. "What's up?"

I shook my head and pointed at the tv. He turned to look. "What, a really bad mullet?" I laughed.

"No T, not him. Him." I pointed again as the camera changed to _him._

"Him?" I nodded. "What's so special about him?"

"Toni, it's _him_," I said, looking at Leilani.

He followed my gaze and comprehension dawned across his face. "OOOhhh… _him…"_

"Ya.."

"Why didn't you say he was on tv?" Toni grinned.

"I didn't know he was!" I was starting to get a bit worked up and Toni could tell. He pulled me into a big bear hug and just sat there with me.

"What's the big deal _ipo_?"

"I don't know brah," I sighed, shaking my head. "I guess it's just surprise?"

"Could be." I felt a nudge and looked down at the same time as Toni. Leilani stood there with a fistful of Toni's shirt, looking up at us. "Heeey Lele," he said, swinging her up in a hug.

Toni wasn't Leilani's biological father; we'd started dating just 3 months before Leilani was born. I was tiny during my pregnancy, I barely showed at all till the last month or so and when I met Toni, he couldn't even tell. He was good about it when he found out, though, and he's been a great father to my little girl ever since.

We'd always told Leilani that Toni wasn't her father; she understood, as well as any almost 3 year old could. She called him Toni and told anyone who asked that he wasn't her _real_ daddy but she loved him anyways. And she did, and he loved her and that made me love them both so much more.

Toni went to help Leilani clean up her mess while I tidied the kitchen and started dinner for the three of us before I had to get to work. I was the bartender and a waitress at a local late-night bar, _Surfer's Paradise_. Kind of a cheesy name but great food, good atmosphere and nice employees.

I made fettucine alfredo. Everyone in this house loves it and it's a quick dinner fix. After eating, I cleaned up while Toni went to give Leilani a bath. When he came out, he looked like HE'D been the one having a bath. I just laughed at him and went to get dressed for work.

We didn't have specific uniforms at the bar, just general guidelines as to what we should wear. The guys generally wore black pants and a dress shirt, except the casual or themed nights we had sometimes, and the girls could wear any kind of shirt, though tight and/or low-cut were preferable, and skirts or tight pants.

Tonight I pulled on a sheer, black, lacy tank top over a tight red one with a jean miniskirt and black knee-high boots. I added a long silver chain with a silver leaf pendant, silver hoop earrings and a big silver bangle bracelet. I gave my hair a brush, sprayed on some glitter spray, added a touch of blush, mascara and lip gloss and I was ready to go.

Toni stood in the doorway of our room, leaning against the frame and watching me.

"Hi you," I said.

"Hey. Lele's in bed waiting for you."

"Thanks _ipo_." I went to say goodnight to Leilani, giving her a big hug and singing her bedtime song, _Aloha o'e_, before I had to leave her till morning.

**...**

**JSYK:**

_- Ipo - Hawaiian for "_sweetheart", pronounced _eep oh_

- "_Aloha o'e_" is a song from _Lilo & Stitch_, though I'm sure there are many versions.

- Kili's home is set in Kailua-Kona on the island of Hawai'i in the state of Hawai'i

- Leilani is pronounced _lay lawn ee, _Kilauea is _keel a way a._ Lele is pronounced _lee lee_ for this story, as well as Kili being_ _key lee __and Kila as _key la_

also, if you've never heard Hawaiians talking, "brah" is pretty much like saying "bro" or "dude" :P


	3. Chapter 2

To all those lovely readers out there who actually seem to enjoy my stories :)

**...**

It was just before 7pm when I pulled into _Paradise_'s employee parking lot. I grabbed my bag, locked my car, a red Toyota Corolla, and headed inside. My shift started at 7 so I had a few minutes to relax and get to the bar. I put my things into my locker, did a makeup touch up and headed out to relieve the previous shift's bartender.

"Heya Li," I greeted the man behind the bar. Li Akiyoshi looked up and smiled at me. "Busy day?" I asked.

"Not too bad," he replied. "Seems like it's gonna be a busy night for you though, with the game on and all." Ah football. Goodie.

"Greaaat," I replied with a sarcastic smile. He laughed.

"You may not like it brah but most the rest of the country does. Including me, so I'm gonna get goin. See ya Kila." He waved as he walked away.

I sighed. Another football game, another packed night. I was glad I was scheduled to be waitressing for most of it, not stuck behind the bar like my co-bartender would be, Shayla Read. Speak of the devil, (not that I have anything against her, it's just a saying) she came skipping towards me, in stiletto heels, and perched herself on a little stool behind the bar.

"Hey Kila," she chirped.

"Hi Shay," I replied.

"Ready for a busy night?"

"Bring it on," I laughed.

* * *

><p>Sooner than I expected, the game was over. It hadn't been as busy as usual, which meant it hadn't been as loud and obnoxious as game nights usually were. Not to say that there weren't still plenty of obnoxious drunks around. More than one guy had tried feeling me up already tonight, and I've only been here 4 hours!<p>

I was busy cleaning a couple tables in my section, taking the empty bottles and mugs to the kitchen. When I came back out, my friend Makani stopped me.

"There're some girls at table 5 who need a cab called for them, table 9 wants more wings and I think some guys just sat down at 13."

"Thanks Maki," I said, grabbing my notepad and a pen as I passed the counter and headed for table 9.

They wanted another 30 hot wings. Go figure. On my way to the bar to pass the order to the kitchen, I passed table 13, where three guys sat waiting. I saw one raise a hand to wave me over.

"Be there in one sec hon," I called over my shoulder.

I passed the order for wings over to the cooks and headed back towards table 13. I could hear the three guys laughing and joking. Deftly I dodged a hand reaching for my ass, flipping to a new page as I stopped next to my goal.

"Good evening," I began, "welcome to Surfer's Paradise. My name's Kila and I'll be your waitress tonight. What can I get for you three f-fine gentlemen tonight?" I stuttered to a halt, managing to finish my speel without my voice cracking too much.

Being drunk notwithstanding, I've never stuttered in my life; no matter how tired I am, how odd or awkward the situation, no matter how hot the guy or how famous, not one stutter has passed my lips. Until tonight. What is it with tonight? If I'd been taking a drink, I'd have done another spit take.

Three guesses as to why: first 2 don't count.

Don't wanna guess? Fine, let me spell it out for you: I-T W-A-S H-I-M. _HIM!_ A young guy, with his long brown hair hanging down his back in a tight braid, tanned skin, lots of tattoos and great muscle tone. Does that description seem to be familiar to anyone else _yet?_

I managed to keep my composure without anyone looking at me like a complete freak. _He _was looking at me a little oddly but I just smiled at him and looked around at the other guys with him, waiting for someone to order.

"Uh, we'll have 3 beers for now, thanks brah," said the oldest looking of them, a broad guy wearing a ball cap, with short, dark hair and blue eyes.

"Sure thing," I smiled at him as I wrote his order down. "I'll bring some menus back with me ya?" he nodded and smiled and I tuned on my heel and headed towards the bar, trying not to hyperventilate on the way.

Shay had the beers ready way too soon and there was nothing left to do but go right back over to table 13, grabbing some menus on the way past the counter. I took a few deep breaths before I got there and put a smile on my face; I mean, really, he probably wouldn't even recognise me. I hoped…

"Here ya are," I said as I placed their drinks and a menu in front of each of them. "Anything else I can get you just now?" he was still looking at me; I tried to ignore it.

"I think we just need a minute to look these over," the big one said, gesturing at the menus.

Behind me, I heard a commotion start from the direction of table 9.

"No problem, I'll be back in a couple minutes and you let me know." I smiled and turned to leave, but a hand grabbed my wrist and held me back. I turned and saw him sitting, staring at me with his hand around my wrist.

A shiver went through me at his touch.

"Do... do I know you?" he asked quietly. I turned back towards table 9 and saw the guys there getting worked up with each other.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly, "I really have to go deal with this." I pulled my wrist from his hand and left more hastily than I usually would have.

* * *

><p>Table 9 was a good distraction for a few minutes, as I signalled to Shay to call them a cab while calming them down by showing off a little more cleavage than usual. Don't judge me; it's not a strip club and, hey, if it keeps them from breaking anything then what do I care if they see some skin? Sadly they left in their taxi and I had no reason not to go back to table 13.<p>

I only had 3 or 4 tables full at this point; 2 of them had their meals and were eating contentedly, 1 of them had a girl slumped against her boyfriend, passed out, while he stroked her hair, leaving me with only the one table to actively wait on.

"Have you boys decided on anything yet?" I leaned against a chair at the table opposite them and looked up at them through my lashes. The big one was talking to _him_, joking and play fighting in the way that made me think they might be brothers. The third guy, the youngest by the look of him, with light brown hair and grey eyes, just sat watching and laughing as the other two goofed around.

All three looked up when I spoke, the 2 freezing mid "fight" and looking like guilty children caught doing something bad.

"Uh, ya," started the youngest while trying to stifle his laughter. "I'll.. I'll have the fish and chips." Writing that down, I looked to the big guy, who ordered a burger and fries. Last, I looked to him, waiting for his order.

"I guess I'll have the nacho platter," he said slowly, staring at me again. It was starting to make me feel edgy and uncomfortable.

"I'll get right on that for you."

As I left, I could still feel him watching me as I walked away. What the hell was I supposed to say to this guy? What if this kept up all night?

* * *

><p>Turns out it DID keep up all night. They were there past 2 am, and by that time they were the only people left in my section and one of the few left in the bar. Some of the girls had gone home already and I was looking forward to getting off in less than an hour. I couldn't wait to get home, showered and snuggled up to Toni in our bed. He gives the BEST back rubs <em>ever.<em> And man did I need one tonight.

Everywhere I went all night, I could feel him watching me. It was reaaalllllyyyyyy uncomfortable. _Almost over, _I kept thinking, _almost over! _FINALLY I saw the younger one wave me over for their check. _He _ was still staring at me. I brought them their check and went back to another table to clean up. I was stacking half filled glasses of beer on a tray when I heard someone behind me. I had a feeling who it would be and I didn't turn to find out. Finally, he spoke:

"Who are you? I know I must've met you somewhere brah. Just tell me!"

Without turning, I retorted:

"If you don't remember then I'm not going to tell you. Must not've been important enough _brah._" Yes I was annoyed and I didn't bother to try and hide it when it spilled into my voice.

"Why are women so god damned stubborn?" he asked my back. I glanced over at his table and saw the big guy watching us, the younger one doing something on his phone. No one else was in the bar, besides the employees. "If you don't give a shit then why not just tell me?"

"Because I have principles and you're pissing me off," I cried as I turned around. I'd finally reached my breaking point. I lowered my voice so that my co-workers wouldn't hear.

"You've been watching me all night and frankly, it's been making me uncomfortable, thus I haven't been able to do my job properly, thus I haven't got as much money as I could have. Money that I need for my family. You don't seem to know how to take a hint when I say I'm not going to tell you anything, so just let it go and move on with your life: I have."

I picked up the tray and moved to leave but before I could he grabbed my wrist for the second time that night.

"Let. Go. Of me." I said in a steely voice.

"I want an answer brah," he said, slurring just a bit.

"I don't care," I said. "You're drunk. Let go of my arm."

I went to yank my wrist out of his hand but at that same moment, he let go and, carried by my force and momentum, I went stumbling backwards, tripped and fell, the tray falling with me and the drinks leaving their glasses, covering me in sticky, smelly alcohol.

I sat there for a moment, blinking furiously. Finally, I stood, ignoring him as I picked up the tray and broken glasses, and walked back to the kitchen. Thank god it was time to leave. And thank god I keep a spare change of clothes in my locker. I was just about to walk out the front door when I saw a guy coming in; I stiffened when I recognised him, the big guy from table 13.

"Hey," he said as we paused in the doorway. "You ok brah?" I nodded. "That's good," he continued. "Sorry about my brother, he hasn't been having things easy lately and something was bothering him all night. I don't want to make excuses for him," he said quickly, "just want you knowin what was happenin. Anyways, only reason I really came back was I forgot my wallet. Aloha brah."

"Aloha.."


	4. Chapter 3

This is mostly a filler chapter, so sorry if it's a little dull but I need it. I can almost guarantee that the next chapter will be anything but.

**...**

Months passed, and no more run-ins with _him._ I was relieved: I'd been expecting him to show up at the bar every night and badger me, but no, nothing.

It was coming up on Leilani's 3rd birthday at the end of August. I still couldn't believe it, 3 already! Toni and I were talking and planning already; neither of us had family in Hawai'I, both of my parents having passed away years ago, and Toni's family on a trip to France, so we were just planning a small get-together with friends.

I was just getting off the phone with Makani when Toni called from work; he kept and trained animals for film and tv and had his own public training school in Kona.

"Hey _ipo, _do you have dinner planned yet?" he asked.

"No… why? What's up brah?"

"I was wantin to bring a friend over to join us. I've told you about Duane Lee, right?"

I smiled. "Sort of. You never really got around to actually telling me about him, just mentioning him in passing."

"Oh. Sorry hun," he laughed.

"It's kool. I been wantin to introduce ya for awhile, but his job keeps him pretty busy most days."

"Bring him over," I smiled. "I'll make burgers."

"Leilani, sit still!" I cried in exasperation a few hours later. "I need to have dinner done before Toni gets home and I can't do that with you running around brah!" This is what happened when your boyfriend left chocolate out for your 3 year old daughter.

Typical of hyperactive toddlers, she ignored me, so I changed tactics.

"Leilani Zahia Alaka'I, if you don't park your Hawaiian butt in a chair _right now_ you will be getting a timeout and no hamburger for dinner. Is that clear little girl?" The little girl in question stopped and stared at me in horror before quietly sitting on the floor under the table. I just had to smile at the whole thing.

"Thank you. Just play quietly for a bit k brah? Toni's bringing a friend home for us to meet at dinner tonight." She smiled.

"Ok mommy."

It was just a few minutes later that I heard Toni's car pull into the driveway. I glanced around the kitchen: salad was made, burgers were frying, beers were chilling, everything was ready and standing by, waiting to be eaten.

Keys rattled in the lock and I could hear voices talking outside. Leilani stayed parked under the table in fear of losing her hamburger privileges.

"Hey babe," Toni called from the front hall.

"In the kitchen!" I called back. He came up behind me while I was flipping the burgers. "How was work?" I asked as his arms wrapped around my waist.

"Pretty good," he said. "One of the mongooses got out and played hide and seek for an hour, but we got her back in her habitat eventually." I laughed. "Dinner almost ready?"

"Take a guess."

"Beers in the fridge?" I just looked at him. "Good," he grinned. "Hey Duane Lee! Come here a minute brah."

I heard him come in but I didn't turn right away, busy putting burgers on a plate. When I did turn, I almost dropped the plate: I swear my heart stopped for a second.

"You ok _ipo_?" Toni looked at me worriedly.

"Ya, of course," I answered automatically. "Sorry," I said, looking over at Duane Lee.

"Duane Lee, my girlfriend Kilauea Alaka'I, Kili for short. Kili, Duane Lee Chapman."

"Nice to see you again," he said. It was the big, dark haired, blue eyed guy from the bar.

Toni looked between us, confused. "You said I hadn't told you about him," he said accusingly to me.

"You didn't," I explained. "Remember a couple months ago, I came home from work covered in beer…?" I didn't even get to finish before Toni turned on Duane Lee.

"_You _did that?" he growled.

"Not me brah," Duane Lee defended himself, hands raised in surrender. "That was my brother. Didn't have a clue who she was. Sorry," he said to me.

I shook my head. "Wasn't your fault. Doesn't matter now anyways, it's time for dinner."

"Where's Leilani?" Toni asked suddenly.

"Under the table," I said, smiling. "I told her if she didn't sit still that she couldn't have hamburger for dinner. Leilani," I called, "come out baby girl, meet Toni's friend." She poked her head out from under the table and smiled up at Duane Lee.

"Hi."

"Hi to you too," he said. "Are you eating with us?" she nodded and tried to climb up into her seat. Picking her up under the armpits, Duane Lee sat her down and set up her dinner tray. I looked at him as I set the food on the table.

"I have a son," he explained, "plus 2 nephews, a niece and 3 little brothers and sisters, all under the age of 13."

"Quite the family." We all laughed.

I got to know Duane Lee really well in the next couple months. We never talked about _that night_, and we had a lot of fun together, me, Toni and him. He came to Leilani's party with his son Dylan, to Dylan's displeasure, and crashed at our place more than one night. I learned that he was a bounty hunter, working for his father on the Oahu, and would get calls at random hours of the day and night to go catch someone. Sometimes it was a real hassle when he was with us on the Big Island and his dad called from Oahu, but he'd try to work it out.

Te told me about his family: his dad and step-mom, his brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews. I told him about my parents and my daughter. We compared our parents' naming abilities when it came to their kids: I won, or lost depending on how you look at it.

Toni was really happy that we got along so well and would joke about Duane Lee stealing me from him: it would never happen. Firstly, because i felt like Duane Lee was the big brother I didn't have. And secondly, because if Toni was seriously worried about it then he wouldn't be joking about it. Leilani liked 'Uncle D" and we all had a good time together.

The only thing I wouldn't tell him was about Leilani's father and what had happened. He knew that Toni was her biological dad and sometimes I'd catch him looking at her oddly and I couldn't help wondering if he saw any resemblance to his brother in her.

One night, Duane Lee called to invite us over to his place: he was staying with his brother, who lived in Kona only a few miles from us. I knew Toni wanted to go and I didn't want to be the spoilsport, so we dropped off Leilani with Makani and drove over to the Chapman brothers' residence.

"Sup brah!" Duane Lee called from the front door as we pulled up. I waved back as Toni jumped out.

"So we get to meet the infamous brother, do we?" he grinned evilly. I sighed.

"No fighting Toni, please. I don't even care anymore."

"Of course not babe, wouldn't dream of it." He hugged me.

"Toni," I hissed, "I don't care about _any_ of it; not the night at the bar, not _that night_. It was years ago, he doesn't know me, so _please_ don't say anything."

"Hey, I gotcha brah," he said, hands raised in surrender, and gave me a kiss. We'd made it into the mudroom by now, kicking off our shoes and following Duane Lee into the living room.

"Leland!" he called, "get out here!"

A door opened down the hall and a head popped out to look at us. "Hey," he said, pulling the door open and walking towards us while tying his hair back into a ponytail.

"Leland; Toni and Kili." Duane Lee introduced us. " Kili, Toni; Leland."

"Nice to meet you," I said quietly, shaking his hand. He stopped and stared at me.

"You…" he began. I sighed heavily.

"Yes, _me_" I said. "Now can we please move on? What's past is past."

"Ok."

That was all he said to me for over an hour.

A couple hours later, everyone was much more relaxed, thanks to a few beers and a shot or two. I was probably the most sober out of them all; since that night I'd vowed to be more careful when I drank. The guys were in the middle of some game tournament on the playstation while I watched and rolled my eyes.

I snuggled closer to Toni and he wrapped his arm around me.

"You wanna leave baby?" he asked.

"Nah brah, I'm ok. No point spending money on a taxi when there's a perfectly good couch here," I chuckled.

"You two wanna crash Kili?" Duane Lee looked over at us. "You can stay in my room if you want, end of the hall."

"Thanks," I said. "Maybe in a bit."

I stayed for maybe another 20 minutes before my eyes started to feel heavy. I gave Toni a kiss before getting up and heading down the hall. The first door I passed was open to show the bathroom. The 2 doors past the bathroom were on opposite sides of the hall, one farther down the hall than the other; I went to that farthest door and pushed it open.

I didn't bother turning on the light, just flopped onto the bed and curled up under the covers.

I was half asleep I-don't-know-how-much later when I heard the door open quietly. I could hear someone moving around the room in the dark, then the covers were pulled back and the mattress shifted as the person sat down. They laid down and pulled the covers back up, rolling over and letting out a sigh. I felt feet touching my legs, before being suddenly jerked away.

"FUCKING HELL!"

I sat bolt upright as the person rolled out of the bed and flicked the light on; it was Leland. Shit.

He stood there, staring at me with a look of shock on his face. I didn't know what to say. Then, with impeccable timing, the door slammed open and Toni and Duane Lee stood staring at us.

Then Duane Lee started to laugh.

I hid my face in my hands as Toni grinned at me too.

"Sorry brah," Duane Lee managed, "guess I forgot to mention which side of the hall. I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. I crawled out of the bed and walked across the room, smacking Toni on the back of the head as I passed him.

"Sorry," I muttered to Leland.

"S'ok brah, my_ brother_" he glared at Duane Lee, "will pay for this soon enough." Duane Lee grinned.


	5. Chapter 4

And here is chapter 4. Thanks to **MsNicoleKatherine**, without whom i wouldn'tve been able to write this chapter. enjoy!

**...**

It was late January and the weather had been acting weird for a week or so, very dreary and cool. I was busy teaching Leilani her numbers and alphabet and getting her ready for pre-school next year; all she wanted to do was go outside and play. Toni's work load was picking up with the animals, so he was away a lot of the time. We both missed him when he was gone.

Makani was engaged to Jason Kamea and they were busy planning their wedding for Valentine's Day; extremely clichéd but very fitting really. I was only working a shift or two a week at the bar now, Toni being gone a lot and it was hard to find a sitter for Leilani.

One day I was nearly bored to tears and, trying to find something to do, I was looking through a box of old stuff from a few years ago. Lifting out a few books, I came across an old award I'd won in an MMA fight; I smiled sadly at it. It had been a long time since I'd been in the ring; I hadn't been to the gym since I'd found out I was pregnant, too risky. I still worked out with a bag in the garage sometimes but it wasn't the same as a real fight.

Suddenly I had an idea.

I grabbed the phone and dialled the old number I knew off by heart:

"_Island Warriors MMA Center, _this is Jeff," came a voice over the phone. I grinned.

'How's it Jeff," I answered, "You on secretary duty now?"

"Kila girl, that you? God it's good to hear your voice. How's life been treating you? You need something brah?"

"Naw Jeff, I'm good. Just wonderin if you'd be in the gym today."

"Been here for an hour. You comin in?"

"I was thinking about it," I smiled. "Need something to do."

"That's great Kila girl, we'll see you here." I could hear the smile in his voice as I hung up

* * *

><p>Pulling into the gym's parking lot, I just sat in the car for a few minutes and relived old times here. That is, until Leilani got impatient.<p>

"Mommmmyyyy," she whined, "where aarreeee weeee?" I smiled as I opened the door.

"This is where mommy used to spend time with her friends," I explained. "This is where I met your daddy…" I trailed off in the middle of unbuckling her carseat. She squirmed.

"Did he fight too?" I knew I shouldn't have shown her what MMA was. I sighed.

"Yes he did," I said. "And do you remember what I told you about fighting?"

"Fighting is bad and against the rules unless in a su-su-per-vised and safe place."

"Good girl. Mommy's going to be practicing today and it's safe for me here so don't you worry baby girl."

I grabbed Lele's hand and we walked inside. I turned to head for the office but I could see it was empty, so I stopped to look around for Jeff; I could feel people watching us. I mean really, who wouldn't? A young woman like me and a little girl like Leilani in an MMA gym? It's not exactly normal.

I walked up to the nearest guy who wasn't sparring and tapped him on the shoulder.

"You know where Jeff is brah?" I asked. He looked me up and down, smirked, and pointed across the room. I could see him now, giving someone pointers in the ring.

"Thanks," I said.

"Anytime babe," he replied with a wink. I rolled my eyes and headed for Jeff.

He saw me coming.

"Kila girl!" he yelled when I was halfway across the room. I rolled my eyes and laughed, giving him a hug.

"Still as subtle as ever Jeff. Good to see you brah." I turned to my little girl who was hiding behind my legs.

"Lele, baby, come meet Uncle you say hi?" she waved shyly at him.

"So this is the little reason you left the gym," Jeff said looking down at her. I nodded.

"This is my little girl Leilani." I picked her up as I spoke, so Jeff could see her better.

"Very nice to meet you Leilani. Does Uncle Jeff get a hug from such a cutie?" she looked up at me with her big eyes and I laughed, nodding. She put her arms out to him and Jeff swung her up into his arms. She giggled quietly.

Jeff turned to me. "You ready to get back in the ring?" he asked.

"Well, we'll see won't we?" I replied cynically. He laughed.

"Good, let's get going

* * *

><p>I wasn't as out of shape as I thought but I was panting and sweating after less than 20 minutes. Jeff just kept laughing at me.<p>

"shut it will you?" I growled.

"Nah, you're doin good brah," he replied, "considering you been gone over 3 years and had a kid."

"Bet I could still beat most the fighters here," I said, half joking. He paused and looked thoutful, then called across the room:

"Yo, Vikki! Get your skinny butt over here!"

"Jeff, I wasn't being serious!" I cried in exasperation.

"Well I am. I wanna see just what you can do after so long. Girl, you know you were one of the best, I wanna see if you still are."

"Whaya want Jeff?" a guy drawled behind me. I had an idea who it was, and sure enough, when I turned around, it was the guy I'd spoken to earlier. He looked me up and down again and raised an eyebrow.

"You want me to look after the newbie?" I snorted. Newbie my ass, I'd probably been fighting longer than he'd been having double digit birthdays. He was a young, skinny-ish guy with overly muscled arms for his size and build. I sighed silently.

"Vikter, Kila. Kila Vikter. You two are havin a practice match." Jeff grinned wickedly. "Vikter" scoffed.

"You kidding? I don't come here to waste my time on newbie _girls_ Jeff."

"Newbie my ass," I muttered quietly. He turned on me:

"What was that?" he demanded.

"I said newbie my ass," I repeated. "I've probably been fighting longer than you've been having double digit birthdays." He laughed.

"ya, suuuuure baby doll, whatever you wanna believe." That was it.

"Ok Jeff, I'll do it," I said icely, "but only to wipe that cocky ass smile off his face." That stopped _Vikter_'s laughing.

"You can't be serious dude," he said incredulously, looking between me and Jeff.

"Totally serious," replied Jeff.

"_Dude_," I added with a smirk.

"Fine, but when she gets her ass beat and starts crying it ain't my problem man."

"Let's dance boy," I said.

* * *

><p>God this guy had an ego. I mean seriously! We were in the ring, the fight was on, and all he did for a full minute was bounce around like a bunny rabbit, yattering at me and trying to distract me.<p>

"Why are you doing this little girl?" he asked. "You know you can't win. Look at me. Look at you. Why would you want to risk that pretty face of yours against someone like me? I'm bound to win, it's even in my name: Vikter." Was this guy for real? "I've been fighting as long as I can remember," he continued as he feinted to my right and continued bouncing. I just stared at him in disbelief. "I'm the record holder in this gym," he paused, "or, I mean I WOULD be except for some idiot named _Kilauea_." He snorted. "I mean seriously, who gets named after a freaking volcano?"

"Will you shut up and fight already?" I nearly screamed at him I was so annoyed. That shocked him in to action. He threw a punch combo and tried to get behind me but I just dodged and circled, throwing a punch of my own that connected with his ribs. He looked surprised that I might actually get a hit in, then shrugged. "Lucky punch."

"We'll see," I retorted.

About 5 minutes later, I'd had enough. This guy just wouldn't shut up! _That's it,_ I thought as I stepped forward, feinted to his right while stepping past him with one foot, to pivot and sweep his feet out from under him mid-bounce as my right hand grabbed his right shoulder and pushed him to the ground. I put a foot on his chest and stared down at him

"Try keeping your mouth shut during a fight," I told him. "Might help you concentrate."

Turning to Jeff, I glared at him.

"Was that seriously your "test" for me? That wasn't even a fight."

"Maybe not," he grinned at me, "but now we know what you can still do ya?" he laughed. I threw my water bottle at him

* * *

><p>Leilani and I went home a little while later; we'd missed nap time and Lele was passed out in the car the whole drive home.<p>

I was feeling great, better than I had in a while. Today was Wednesday and Jeff had hooked me up with a real fight for Saturday night. It was my sort of "welcome back" match, my first in almost 4 years. I was a bit sad that Toni wouldn't get home early enough to see it but he'd be waiting for me when I came home afterwards.

When I got home, there was a message on the answering machine from Duane Lee. I called him back.

"Hey," I said, "what's up?"

"Hey, nothing much. I was wondering if you were doing anything this weekend, if you wanted to come meet my family?"

"That sounds fun but I can't, I have my first MMA fight in almost 4 years on Saturday night," I explained. "You could come if you wanted, it's actually going to be in Honolulu. Then maybe I could come over Sunday for the family meet 'n greet." I grinned.

"Well if you're here anyways then I guess we'll see what happens ya brah? Hold on." The line went quiet for a minute, but I could hear muffled voices on the other end, like he'd put his hand over the mouth piece. "Hey, Kila? I gotta go brah, sorry. Hunt time."

"No problem, we'll talk later brah. Good luck on your hunt."

* * *

><p>The rest of the week passed in a blur I was so excited for the weekend. Leilani and I flew to the Big Island a few hours before my fight started so we could meet up with Jeff and I could get warmed up. While the match was happening, Jeff's wife, Stacy, was going to be watching Leilani in another room so my girl didn't see or hear much of what was going on.<p>

It turned out that none of the Chapmans could come see me fight but I was supposed to be going over in the morning to meet the rest of the family and have Sunday brunch with them. I'd gotten directions from Duane Lee earlier so I could head right over in the morning and hopefully not get lost.

By the time the match actually came, I was ready to start bouncing off the walls. Not that I'd actually waste my energy bouncing in the ring, that was only for morons like _Vikter_.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Jeff announced, "welcome to our fight night!" there was a cheer from the crowd.

"Tonight we welcome back Kilauea Alaka'I for her first fight in almost $ years! Let's giver her a hand!" the cheering got even louder and I heard some wolf whistles in the crowd too. I grinned and waved from where I stood.

"in a tournament, Ms. Alaka'I would be obligated to only fight opponents of the same gender. But, as this is not a tournament, and we are rather low on female fighters at present," the crowd laughed, "Ms. Alaka'I will be in the ring tonight against Micheal Hikina!" the guy across from me waved. "Now let's have a nice fair fight you two; shake hands now." we did. "Good, let the fight begin!"

* * *

><p>It was a good fight: a good, long, <em>painful<em> fight. I won by half a point and we were both laughing when we shook hands and smiled for all the cameras around us.

I was climbing out of the ring and wiping the sweat off my face with a towel when I noticed 2 uniformed officers of the Honolulu PD enter the room and look around. They stopped to talk to someone, who pointed at me: what could the police want with me? I had no idea. I waited for them as they walked across the room to me.

"Kilauea Alaka'i?" one of them asked. I nodded. "Could we talk to you in private for a moment?"

"What about?" I asked. They glanced at each other.

"Do you know a Toni Ka'iimamao?" the second asked.

My heart dropped.

"I'm afraid there's been an accident…"


	6. Chapter 5

omg, IM IN HAWAII PEOPLE! haha im looking out across the ocean as i write. its amazing ^^ totally wish i could meet them *points down at story* but probably wont happen. sigh. but heres the next chapter so enjoy :) you may or may not hate me and im sorry but i needed it to happen to get my story where i want it to go :P

**...**

Toni was dead.

I couldn't believe it.

I was numb, I couldn't think.

It was the weather, they told me. So much rain in the last week had caused a mud slide while he was driving to the airport and pushed his car off the road, over a cliff. He died on impact.

I bundled Leilani into my arms and hugged her tight, just standing there in silence. I didn't know where to turn. I had no family anywhere nearby; that's why the police had come to me, because Toni's family was still out of the country and I was his "in case of emergency". Makani was my closest friend but we'd grown apart in the last while.

I left. I didn't want to stay but I didn't know where to go. Leilani was quiet in my arms; I hadn't told her yet but she knew something was wrong. I buckled her into her carseat and closed the door carefully, before opening the driver's door and climbing in.

I just sat there for about 5 minutes, staring out the window, not knowing what to do. I threw my bag onto the passenger seat and that's when I noticed a piece of paper on the edge of the passenger seat. I picked it up and saw it was the directions Duane Lee had given me to find his family's house. I realised that that was the only place I had to turn right now.

I didn't stop to think that I'd never met his family before, that I was coming a day early, unexpected, when he might not even be there. I couldn't think: I was basically running on autopilot, starting the car, backing out of the parking space, driving, driving down the road, a turn at this road, another at that road, until I came to a set of huge wooden gates across the driveway.

I pressed the button on the outside speaker and after a few seconds, a voice answered:

"Hello?"

I swallowed. "My name's Kila, I'm.. I'm looking for Duane Lee please." The speaker buzzed and the gates swung slowly open.

I don't remember much of the property as I drove up to the house, just lots of trees and flowers and space. I parked in the driveway, got Leilani from the back seat, putting her on my hip, and walked up to the house, knocking on the front door. A young girl answered, maybe 10, 12 years old.

"I'm looking for Duane Lee," I told her. She turned back into the house:

"DUANE LEEEE!" she yelled.

He came after a minute. When he saw me a look of surprise crossed his face.

"Kila? What are you doing here this late? I thought you had a fight tonight." I nodded, and took a deep breath.

"He's dead, Duane Lee. Toni's dead."

And I burst into tears.

* * *

><p>I don't remember much of that night. Duane Lee took me to his room where we sat on his bed while he hugged me and I cried. I remember meeting his step mom Beth when she came in to get Leilani and put her to bed with the other kids. I remember crying for hours and, once when I looked up at Duane Lee, seeing tears streaming silently down his face as he held me in the dark and the quiet.<p>

At some point I must have fallen asleep, cuz when I woke up I was alone in his bed and light was streaming in through the window. I was tempted to just lie there forever, staring at nothing, but that isn't who I am to do nothing when something can be done.

I didn't know what time it was as I climbed out of bed, so I opened the bedroom door quietly, in case the family was asleep. Sure enough, the house seemed deserted. I tiptoed down the hall until I found the bathroom, where I made use of the massive mirror hanging above the sink and gave my face a good wash. Then I snuck back down the hall towards the kitchen.

It's amazing how quiet you learn to be while cooking when you have a 3 year old who just gets vicious if she gets woken up, so by the time I heard the first sounds of movement from anyone else in the house, I had a plate stacked high with pancakes, a huge plate of bacon and a bowl of scrambled eggs ready and waiting on the table.

Beth was the first one up. I could tell she wasn't expecting to see me when she walked into the kitchen in her pyjamas and fluffy slippers.

"Morning," I said quietly. She jumped and turned to look at me where I sat at the table. A smile spread across her face.

"Morning hun," she said. "What are you doing up so early? You should've stayed in bed."

"I needed something to do," I explained, "so I made breakfast."

"You didn't make a sound brah! I never woulda known you were in here." I shrugged.

"I got a terrorising toddler on my hands if she gets woken up early." She laughed quietly as she walked over and gave me a hug.

"Thanks," I said.

"Anytime."

* * *

><p>Others faces started appearing when the smell of bacon wafted down the hall to everyone. The first head I saw was Leland's. He looked like the walking dead; hungover Beth told me. He was surprised to see me so I guess he'd come home after I got here. I saw Beth take him aside as Duane Lee and his dad came in. I shook hands with Dog and got a hug from both him and Duane Lee. When I turned around, it was Leland's turn to wrap his arms around me: I guess Beth had told him why I was there.<p>

Next to emerge was the girl who'd answered the door the night before, Cecily, and her little sister Bonnie, followed by their brother Gary. The last to come in was a tall blonde girl, Lyssa, leading her daughter Abbie and Leilani by the hand.

"Who's this little girl I found with Abbie?" she asked, smiling. Leilani snickered as she ran over to me and climbed in to my lap. I hugged her tight to me.

I was introduced to everyone as they all sat down to eat.

"Beff deej wanmakes da majung," Leland attempted to say with his mouth stuffed with pancakes.

"I'm sorry, _what_ was that?" Beth rolled her eyes. Leland swallowed too quickly and started coughing and Dog hit him on the back.

"I said, these pancakes are amazing Beth," he managed this time, eyes streaming.

"Thanks brah but I didn't make breakfast today. Kila did." They all stared at her.

"Why?" Leland asked. I sighed.

"I needed something to do. I can't just sit around and do nothing all day, too much time to think about shit better left unthought."

While most people cry or pout or wallow in self pity and old memories when something bad happens around them, I cover my pain and tears with anger and by keeping busy. So if you don't drop it you better be ready to face my wrath. (Maybe a tad overly dramatic but whatever.) Not that any of the Chapmans knew that.

I sighed silently and stood up to leave.

"Mommy?" Leilani looked up at me. I smiled at her and kissed her head.

"You stay and eat baby girl." I said, "Mommy's just going for a walk."

I left the kitchen, wandering through the house until I found a door that led out to the backyard pool. I sat, rolled up my pants and dangled my feet in the water, staring off into the trees.

I didn't notice that Leland had followed me until he came and sat down beside me, drawing circles in the water with his hand.

"I'm sorry," he said plainly. I sighed again: I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

"What for?" I asked without looking at him. He sighed too.

"For everything brah: for bothering you at the bar, for making you spill those drinks on yourself, for pushing you too far just now…" he trailed off. "It's just… brah, I swear I met you somewhere before but I just can't remember and it's driving me insane."

_What __have __you __got __to __lose,_ I thought to myself.

"We have met before brah, 3 years ago at the _Island__Warriors_ gym: Jeff put us in a sparring match and I won. We went out and got drunk afterwards, so that's probably why you don't remember." I didn't look at him as I spoke, but I could feel him looking at me and I decided not to tell him about Leilani: we were happy as a family and he didn't need to feel burdened by responsibility for us.

"Shit brah…" was all he managed for a while: we just sat and stared across the water, not looking at each other.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" he asked quietly a few minutes later. I shrugged.

"Guess it didn't seem like it woulda mattered to you brah, with your family and friends and being famous and all." I did my best to say this like I didn't care either but my voice shook just a bit.

"Brah, whether I'm famous or not doesn't mean I'm not a human being," he said.

"That's not what I meant…" I sighed, head in hands. He shook his head.

"Nevermind brah, don't matter."

We were silent again for a while, until Leland spoke again.

"Do you like Duane lee?" he asked. His question caught me completely off guard and I looked at him in surprise and confusion.

"I don't know what you mean…" I said.

"Do you like my brother? You came looking for him as soon as…" he trailed off again, but I caught what he meant. I fought to keep my anger under control.

"How could you say something like that," I said with ice in my voice. "My BOYFRIEND just died and you-"

"It was just a question brah!" he said, hands raised in surrender. I took a deep breath.

"I have no family here and no really close friends any more. Toni's family," I choked a little on his name as a tear ran down my cheek, "is out of the country, so it's just me and Lele. Duane Lee's the brother I never got growing up and an amazing friend and a great Uncle to my little girl." I was sobbing when I finished and Leland looked away guiltily.

"I'm sorry," he said again. I shook my head. "I know we got off on the wrong foot," he continued, "and we don't know each other well but is there anything I can do brah? An open ear, a hug, whatever you need brah." I tried to smile a little to make him feel better.

"I could probably use that hug," I said.

* * *

><p>We were interrupted just a few minutes later, an arm around each other, staring off into space and thinking our own thoughts, by a certain toddler crashing in to my back at full speed. I sighed and laughed.<p>

"Lele, no running by the pool, ya brah?" I said.

"Sorry," came a voice behind us. I turned and found Lyssa standing there, smiling. "Someone wanted t find her mommy."

"Thanks," I said as I pulled Leilani around to sit on my lap. She dangled her feet in the water, splashing and giggling.

"Who's this little girl brah?" Leland asked my daughter, extending a hand for her to shake. She giggled.

"I'm Leilani," she said.

"Nice to meet you brah, I'm Leland," he replied. "She Toni's?" he asked me.

I nearly choked.

"No," I said, my heart thudding in my chest, "she's… she was from a guy I just… met one day."

I hoped I managed to pass it off and I think Leland bought it, but I noticed Lyssa looking between her brother and Leilani, glancing at me out of the corner of her eye. I just hoped she wouldn't ask anything I couldn't explain.

"So what you-" she began, but just then, a shriek came from inside the house.

"LYSSA!" a shout came. She rolled her eyes and went back inside, leaving the three of us alone together by the pool. Awkward.

"So," he began, "who was this guy? Tell me brah." He grinned. I sighed inwardly; how to avoid the questions…

"Why do you care?" I asked in return. He shrugged.

"Just wonderin what kinda guy woulda left his girl to raise his kid alone." Ahhh the irony.

"I wasn't really 'his girl'," I replied, "I didn't know him that well and he never knew I was pregnant. Besides, I think I've managed just fine alone thanks." I smiled a little.

"How'd you meet him then?"

"I don't really remember brah…" The lies, the lies.

"But you slept with him?" he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Excuse me!" I smacked his arm. "That's not _your_ business brah. But for your information, I didn't plan on it, neither of us did…" The eyebrow rose higher. "We were drunk," I explained.

"Well that'd explain it ya?" he laughed. "Do you even remember the guy?"

"Of course I do!" I replied, indignant.

"So what's his name?" Shit: how do I could I get out of that one?

"None of your business." I saw his smile drop a little as I stood, hoisted my daughter onto my hip and walked a little ways away. I wasn't rally planning to leave, I just needed him to stop asking questions. Leilani struggled in my arms, reaching behind me: when I turned, he was right there. He lifted his hands a little in a question as Leilani reached out and I passed my baby girl over to him, holding tears at bay as he lifted her into the air and swung her around, a smile on his lips.

He turned back to me, shifting Leilani to one hip before he spoke:

"I'm sorry Kila," he said, the first time I'd heard my name pass his lips in almost 4 years. "I didn't want to upset you, just thought you might like to talk." I shook my head.

"It's ok Leland," I replied, "It's not your fault. I just don't talk about her father much." I sat down. "You're right though," I continued, "neither of us meant for this to happen,: it was a mistake. I don't regret it one bit, because I have the most beautiful little girl anyone could ask for, but he wasn't there the times I really needed him, when I spent my days crying or in pain or the days I worried about being able to afford enough food for myself. Honestly, there were times I absolutely hated him, but you know what?" I paused at looked up at him, "if I was looking at him right now, I'd tell him to forget about it, that he could be a part of our baby's life if he wanted, or he could move on with his own, knowing that were doing ok and that I forgive him."

When I finished, Leland just looked at me, stunned. I flushed.

"I'm sorry," I began, "I-"

"No," he cut me off. "Thank you." I was the surprised one this time. "I asked you to talk to me brah, and I'm glad you did. You ever tell anyone but Toni any of this?" I shook my head. "Then I guess I'm the lucky one ya? But can I ask why brah? Why you decided to open up to me?" I shook my head again.

"I dunno really," I said, speaking nothing but truth this time. He knelt down beside me, Leilani still on his hip, and wrapped his free arm around me.

"I hope you know," he said into my ear, "that me and my family will always be here for you Kila."

"Thank you," I said, hugging him again. He stood and smiled down at me, reaching out a hand to pull me up.

"Leland?" I said. "Please don't tell any of this to anyone else, ok?" he nodded. "Not even Duane Lee," I pressed.

"I won't brah, promise"

I wouldn't find out until later that Lyssa, coming back outside, had heard everything id just said.

* * *

><p>I told Leilani about Toni that afternoon, locked in Duane Lee's bedroom while everyone else was busy. I told her that Toni had to leave us, that he wouldn't be coming home anymore but that we'd see him again one day when it was our turn to leave.<p>

I held her as she cried and tears ran down my cheeks. When a knock came at the door, I ignored it.

She ended up crying herself to sleep. I left her sleeping on the bed while I called Toni's parents, not a fun conversation. After that, I went to find people.

I found them all in the living room watching a movie. I sat down on the couch between Duane Lee and Leland. Leaning back, I closed my eyes and just let myself relax for a few seconds. I was exhausted: too many nights of restless sleep, crying myself to sleep or no sleep. I guess I must've fallen asleep on the couch cuz the next time I opened my eyes, I was curled up on the couch with a blanket pulled up over me.

Sitting up, I stretched and looked around: the living room was empty and the house was quiet. It seemed empty as I walked down the hall to Duane Lee's room to check on Leilani. It was dark when I opened the door, so I went over to the bed and sat down. The bed was empty and cold: Leilani wasn't there.

I went through the house, checking every room and trying not to panic. Every room in the house was empty; the backyard was empty; even the driveway was empty, except for my car.

Back in the kitchen, I was in full panic mode now. I grabbed for the phone, knocking it to the floor. I picked it up and fumbled with the buttons, dialling Duane Lee's cell phone. It rang 5 times with no answer before I hung up. I paced the kitchen, trying to breathe and think: I didn't know any of the other Chapman's phone numbers, so I couldn't call any of them.

I was in the middle of trying Duane Lee's number again when I heard a car in the driveway. I made a dash for the front door, running out onto the driveway just as the car shut off and the driver side door opened.

"BETH!" I yelled as I ran to her. "Leilani's gone!"

"What? I left her with Leland," she told me, pulling me into a hug.

"The house is empty! Duane Lee wasn't answering his phone and I don't know anyone else's!" I was crying now. Duane Lee came out of the car as I spoke.

"Shit Kila," he said, "I left my phone here."

"Go call Leland," Beth told him. "I'm sure everything's fine Kila," she said to me. "Deep breaths girl." I tried while Duane Lee got his phone and called his brother.

"Leland? Where are you?" another pause: "Ok." He hung up.

"He's around the corner," he told us and even as he spoke, a car pulled up, parked behind Beth and Leland got out of the driver's seat.

"What's wrong Kila?" he asked. I stared at him.

"Where's my daughter?" I asked with ice in my voice. I swear I saw him shiver.

"I took her with me," he told me. "Dad took everyone else to the beach, then Beth and Duane Lee left so…" he trailed off as I stared him down.

"Give her to me. Now."

She was asleep in a carseat in the back. I left her there and walked up behind Leland to smack him on the back of his head.

"OW! What was that for?" he asked.

"You IDIOT! I smacked him again.

"Ow! Ease up brah!"

"No! You deserve it!" I only vaguely noticed Beth and Duane Lee sneaking away.

"I thought you could use the sleep."

" You could've at least left a note! How would you feel if Cobie or Dakota just vanished and you had no idea where to look?" I went to smack him again but he grabbed my wrist this time.

"Did Duane Lee tell you about my kids?" he asked. The question threw me for a second.

"No… what's that got to do-"

"Then how do you know about my kids?" he cut me off.

"I don't fucking remember! This isn't about _your_ kids Leland."

"Tell me how you know about my boys." I don't think he noticed that his hold on my wrist kept tightening.

"Let go, let go Leland." I tried to pull away and a flash of déjà vu hit me.

"Mommy?" A small voice came from Leland's car. I turned to walk away but was jerked back by his hold on my wrist.

"Leland, let me go or I'm going to hurt you." I told him. His eyebrows rose. "Wanna test me?" I hissed. "You're the one who started this by taking my daughter without me knowing and scaring the shit outta me so you really don't want to push me any farther."

He seemed to get the message after that and let go of my wrist. I went and got my baby out of his car and slammed the door in his face as I walked into the house. So much for getting along.


	7. Chapter 6

just a quick one because i wanted to write something before bed because all the reviews made Randi a very happy author :) :) i literally wrote this in about an hour and im not reading it over tonight so let me know if theres some huge problem i havent noticed lol otherwise, enjoy :)

**...**

I spent the next week with the Chapmans, staying at their house and getting to know them all better. Leilani and Abbie, Lyssa's daughter, became good friends and there were so many kids and parents in the house all the time that I didn't feel I needed to worry about my girl every second anymore.

The days were mostly spent with me and Leilani alone, the rest of the adults being at work and the kids, except for Abbie, who went to preschool, being at school. I'd called _Surfer__'__s__Paradise_ and taken an indefinite leave of absence.

Leland and I still weren't on the best of terms after the whole you-took-my-daughter incident: oh we were polite enough to each other and we'd hang out when other people were around, but we pretty much avoided each other given the opportunity and ignored each other when we were alone.

The longer I stayed, the more I started liking Honolulu. I'd originally moved to Kona because it wasn't so busy, not so big a city scene, but Honolulu was growing on me. I felt bad about staying with the Chapmans for so long though: since I'd been here, Leilani and I had been staying in Duane Lee's room (I'd gone out to by her a playpen so we weren't sharing the bed now) and he'd been sleeping on the couch. I'd offered to take the couch but everyone ignored me every time I brought it up.

One night, a week and a bit after I'd first come here, we were all sitting around the kitchen table eating dinner. Beth was having problems with keeping Gary in his seat and Leilani was falling asleep in to her potatoes, when Dog's cell phone went off.

"Hello? ...You sure brah? …Kiana Place off of Huipu Drive in Waianae? We'll be there in an hour." He hung up.

"We got a tip," he said, "on Martin Pu'ili. We have to go. Now."

"What about the kids?" Beth asked. "Saren's not back for 3 days." Saren was their on-call babysitter for nights like this.

"I can watch them," I offered. Everyone turned to me.

"Oh, would you brah?" Beth asked with relief. "Thank you Kila." I shook my head.

"You've all been so good to me Beth, letting me stay here and everything. I want to repay you and do something for you guys. If it's watching kids, then kids I will watch, no thanks needed." I smiled. She hugged me.

* * *

><p>They all left around 8 (we were having a late dinner), and I had instructions to get the kids in bed by 9. I put Leilani to bed as soon as dinner was over and started getting the younger kids ready soon after.<p>

Abbie was already in bed when I'd put Lele down, and I got Gary and Bonnie to sleep within a half hour. I let Cecily stay up on the computer, after checking that her homework was done, until 9 and by the time I did a room check at 9:30, everyone was completely out. I sighed in relief: I did not need my first 'Chapman babysitting' experience to be chaos. Having all the kids in bed quickly meant that I could go to bed sooner too, not that I'd actually go to sleep until everyone got home.

I got myself ready for bed, having a quick shower and pulling on pjs before curling up on the couch with a book I'd found somewhere in the house. The next time I looked up, it was already 11 o'clock. Beth had said that they shouldn't be more than 3 hours but I'm sure bounties were subject to unannounced changes, so I wasn't worried yet. I went back to my book.

It seems I have a habit of falling asleep on that couch because the next thing I knew I was being woken up by the phone ringing by my head. The clock said 12:03 as I answered sleepily. It was Beth.

"Kila, I'm sorry girl," she said. "He wasn't there when we got to the place and we've been looking for him the last couple hours. I meant to call before now but I forgot."

"S'ok," I said. "Everythings fine here, I just fell asleep on the couch by accident."

"Don't stay up for us, I have no idea how much longer we're going to be." She sounded tired. "Just got to bed Kila girl." She really felt like a mom to me sometimes. I chuckled quietly.

"Ok Beth, see you in the morning."

"See you brah."

We hung up and I placed my bookmark in the book and left it on the coffee table, walking down the hall to Duane Lee's room and climbing into bed. I was out only seconds after my head hit the pillow…

…only to be woken again a few hours later by Duane Lee, trying (and failing) to sneak into his room without waking me.

I turned over and rubbed my eyes.

"Duane Lee?" I murmured.

"Sorry," he whispered as he rummaged through a drawer for who knows what. "I was trying to be quiet."

"You failed," I told him as I flicked on the little bedside lamp: he looked terrible. He'd clearly just come out of the shower, because he was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and was digging in his dresser drawer that I could see a pair of boxers hanging out of. But it wasn't the towel and boxers that made him look so bad: it was his arms and chest, which were absolutely covered in scrapes and bruises.

And he looked utterly exhausted.

"What happened to you?" I asked. He winced.

"Had to tackle the guy to the ground in a parking lot, where I got jumped by 3 of his friends, then we rolled into the ditch full of thistles."

"Shit" was all I could manage. He nodded tiredly.

"Sorry for waking you up Kila," he said again as he started for the door.

"Duane Lee, you're exhausted," I protested, getting out of his bed. "You look ready to keel over brah. There's no way you're sleeping on the couch tonight." He shook his head.

"I'm not letting you sleep on the couch either," he said stubbornly. I sighed.

"Fine," I said. "Then neither of us'll sleep on the couch." He looked at me, eyebrows raised. I rolled my eyes. "We're both adults Duane Lee Chapman. Or at least I am. We can share your bed for the night without making a big deal out of it when there's nothing to make a fuss about." He smiled and nodded. I sighed in relief as I climbed back into the bed, only to turn around and see him leaving anyways.

'Where are you going?" I hissed.

"I'll share a bed with you brah," he said, "but I'm not changing in front of you."

**...**

oooh, where do you think im going with this? whats going to happen? is Kila going to end up with Duane Lee? please please tell me what you think im heading for :) lol


	8. Chapter 7

*sigh* well, i'm home (sadly) and no encounters of the county hunter variety (sadly) and i'm freezing my lil ass off here :P so heres the next chapter, i hope you all enjoy: let me know what you think and if you have any ideas. while i do have a (vague) plan for this story (meaning i know where im gonna make it end up but no idea how its getting there), if anyone has an idea i will definitely take in into consideration and try to work it in if it fits :) here ya go!

**...**

I was warm. And comfy. And cozy. I didn't want to wake up, so I decided not to.

That decision was overruled when a knock came at the door. I rolled over and ignore it. Whoever it was knocked again.

"Go away," I mumbled, rolling over again, rolling right into a wall of muscle. That surprised me enough to open my eyes to see Duane Lee asleep beside me; oh ya, forgot about that.

The knock came a third time and this time the door opened too: it was Lyssa.

"Kila," she said, "were looking for Duane Lee- oh." she stopped as she noticed him beside me. Her eyes narrowed a bit, but it could've just been the light.

"Ok then," she said, "I'll let the others know I found him." an she left, closing the door a bit harder than needed. I flopped down onto my back. Duane Lee rolled over next to me.

"That Lyssa?" he mumbled without opening his eyes.

"Yup," I said. "I don't think she likes me much."

"She'll get over it."

"Why wouldn't she like me though?" I asked. "I mean, what have I done?" he sighed.

"I dunno Kila, could be anything. Just let it go for now brah, I'm tired." I laughed.

"You're on your own then cuz I'm getting up."

My only reply was a snore.

* * *

><p>Lyssa, Beth and Duane were in the kitchen when I walked in, yawning.<p>

"Morning," I said.

"Morning hon," Beth said. "thanks for watching the kids last night. "

"No problem, it was pretty easy."

"Did we wake you up when we came in?" I shook my head.

"Duane Lee did when he came into his room but that's it. "

"So you ended up sleeping together," Lyssa muttered under her breath.

"What was that?" Dog asked. I rolled my eyes.

"I said," Lyssa repeated louder, "so you ended up sleeping together. "

They all turned to stare at me.

"Ya, we shared his bed," I explained, exasperated. "He looked exhausted and there was no way I was letting him sleep on the couch again."

Dog just shrugged.

"Ok brah, you're both adults. "

Lyssa rolled her eyes.

"Morning brah," a voice yawned behind me. Turning, I saw Leland leaning in the doorway of the kitchen.

"Morning," I muttered.

"What's up?" he asked, looking around the room.

"Nothing," Lyssa and I said at the same time. He looked at us oddly before shrugging.

"What's for breakfast?"

Boys and their stomachs.

* * *

><p>The rest of that day was fairly dull: the Chapmans all had work and the kids had school; I alternated between reading and chasing my hyped up toddler around the house, trying to keep her from destroying the place.<p>

I finally managed to settle her down, once I'd figured out how to work the massive flatscreen TV in the living room and plunked Leilani down in front of it.

That moment of peace lasted for about a half hour before I heard a car in the driveway. I didn't get up, assuming it was Beth or someone bringing the kids home from school. It wasn't until I heard a knock on the door that I stood and stretched, picking up my girl on my way to answer the knocking.

A woman stood there with 2 boys, one about 5 or 6, the other about 11 or 12.

The woman looked at me.

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"I'm Maui," she said. I looked at her blankly. "Leland's ex?"

"Sure," I nodded.

"I'm dropping off our boys. This is Cobie," pointing at the younger of the two, "and Dakota," the older one.

"I'm Kila," I introduced myself, "and my daughter Leilani."

"Mind if I come in?" I shook my head. "Boys, go find something quiet to do for a while." they ran down the hall.

As they disappeared, Maui turned to me and opened her mouth to speak but just then the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Kila, its Beth. I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you, but Leland's ex is supposed to be dropping his boys off today. We were so busy this morning that I completely forgot."

"It's ok Beth," I said, smiling. "Ya, they just got here."

"Ok, good. I'll tell Leland. You don't mind watching them till we get home girl?"

"Not a problem. We'll see you later."

I hung up and turned, finding Maui looking at me and Leilani.

"Is she Leland's?" she asked bluntly. I blinked, taken by surprise.

"Wh-what?" I managed.

"She looks like him, like his boys too. Are you going out with him?"

"No," I said sharply.

"So why are you here?"

"I'm a friend of Duane Lee," I told her. _Not that it's any of your business_, I thought. She didn't look like she believed me but shrugged and glanced at her watch.

"I better go, you boys be good!" she called down the hall.

"Bye mom!" they called back.

She left, and I closed the door behind her, shaking my head. How could she guess so easily? If she could see it, did anyone else? I had my suspicions that Lyssa might be wondering but so far no one else had hinted at anything. I sighed: this was all so confusing.

I looked down at Leilani, wiggling in my arms, thoughtfully.

"You know baby girl," I told her quietly, "you really do look like him."

* * *

><p>I went to put Leilani down for a nap a few minutes later. I could hear the boys laughing and playing somewhere down the hall as I laid her in her playpen. I sang softly to her as she yawned and closed her eyes, one thumb in her mouth.<p>

I was closing the door behind me as two cannon balls came rocketing down the hall, barely missing me.

"Careful boys," I called after them. They skidded to a halt in the kitchen and turned to look at me.

"Can we go swimming?" Cobie asked. "Please?"

"I dunno," I said hesitantly. "I wouldn't want to get in trouble with your dad."

"We're allowed," Dakota told me, "as long as there's someone to watch us."

"Just let me text him quick," I said with a smile. I liked these kids.

After the Incident of about a week ago I'd been sure to get the phone numbers of everyone in the house.

_Leland, it's Kila. Ur boys r here and wanna swim. That ok?_

I got his reply a few minutes later:

_Ya sure, long as u watch them. Ill be home in a while_

"Ok boys," I called, "we have the go from your dad. Grab your swim stuff."

I found myself outside a few minutes later, lounging in a deck chair watching the two kids splashing and playing in the pool. One really nice thing about living in Hawaii: you can swim pretty much any day you feel like it. And get a tan in the middle of winter. Not that winter here doesn't have nasty days, some days it just pours rain all day, but overall it's sun all the way.

We'd been playing outside an hour or so and I'd just gotten Leilani up from her nap when a car pulled into the driveway. I could hear the front door open, keys being thrown on the counter, and footsteps heading our way. The screen door opened and Leland came out.

"Dad!" Cobie and Dakota cried happily, jumping out of the pool and running to him, giving him big hugs that left his shirt soaked and sticking to him. I giggled a little from where I sat, Leilani on the ground beside me.

"Oh, so you think this is funny do you brah?" he asked mock-menacingly. His face made me giggle some more, then snicker, then I burst out laughing.

"N-n-no," I sputtered, "of c-course not."

"That's it!" he shouted. "I've had enough of you!" I stopped laughing, unsure if he was mad at me or not. He moved towards me and I stood, backing away, moving so that Leilani wasn't in danger of being tripped on.

"Leland, I was only kidding," I said hesitantly, hands up to ward him off.

My mind obviously wasn't working or I would've realised that he wouldn't do anything around the kids, and I might've noticed him gesturing Dakota towards Leilani.

"Well that's just too bad," he half growled, "cuz I'm not!"

And with that a grin broke out on his face as he tackled me, picked me up over his shoulder and threw me in the pool.

* * *

><p>I came up spluttering, coughing water from my lungs and trying to breathe. I can swim just fine but he'd surprised me and I'd inhaled as I went under.<p>

When I could breathe again I saw Leland and his sons laughing at me while I tread water. Leland was holding his arm funny, sticking straight out like he was pointing at me. Then I realise that he was holding something: a few seconds later I realise that that "something" was his phone. I gasped in shock.

"LELAND CHAPMAN!" I yelled at him. He only laughed harder.

I swam to the stairs and stomped out of the water on to the deck. I stomped right up to him, hands on my hips and glared at him, looking menacing.

Or at least that's what I was aiming for, though I dunno how well I managed at all of 5' 2" in a sopping wet T-shirt with my hair dripping down my face.

"S-s-sorry K-Kila," he said, ATTEMPTING, and failing, to keep a straight face as he looked at me.

I watched his eyes travel up and down my body, and that's when I realised that I was only wearing a thin, white, T-shirt and shorts, that the thin white T-shirt was now see-through and that I had a black bra on underneath.

I could feel my face start to burn but I was determined not to show my embarrassment, so I smiled innocently up at him, walked towards him, making him take a quick step back and I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck and gave him a bug wet hug

...before pushing him backwards and sending us both falling into the water.

I let go of him as we went under, doing an underwater summersault and pushing away from him. I came up laughing while he popped up about 10 feet away coughing and choking.

"Now we're even brah," I told him. He looked at me.

"This mean I'm forgiven?" he asked seriously.

"Yaaa," I shrugged. "I don't have the energy to really stay mad. Nothing happened, just scared me half to death. But don't you DARE scare me like that again!" I pointed an accusatory finger at him.

"I won't! I'm sorry Kila," he said. "I really didn't mean any harm brah."

I sighed.

"I know," I replied softly. "it's just, I already lost Toni ya? I can't lose Leilani. Not that I ever could but I need her even more now, ya know?" I sniffled, then sneezed.

He swam over to me and gave me a quick hug; quick because if we stopped treading water for a longer one, we'd both sink. That made me realise that we were still in the pool in our clothes and Cobie, Dakota and Leilani were sitting on the pool deck watching us.

I laughed.

"Let's get outta here brah, I want some dry clothes."

**...**

oh that reminds me: please dont criticize me on Maui becuase i know nothing about her and i dont even know when they were divorced so in this story (even if the dates r wrong in reality) Leland did not cheat on her with Kila :P


	9. Chapter 8

Ok so this is especially for thekeeperoftime and MsNicoleKatherine, faithful readers and reviewers who have helped me come up with a few chapters, because i said that id have this up about 2 weeks ago XD but hey, i finished the chapter right?

**...**

If I was honest with myself, I was glad to be back on good terms with Leland. Really, I didn't WANT to carry a grudge and I just didn't have the energy for it.

The entire Chapman family was relieved that Leland and I were speaking again too. I could literally feel the sigh of relief that went through the house after the tension that had been part of the day to day life for the last week or so.

A few days later I was home alone with Leilani, having just put hr down for her nap, and I was lying on the couch using Duane Lee's laptop to do some house hunting, when the front door slamming open interrupted me.

"- cuz I don't know Leland," Duane Lee was saying as they walked inside. "Why not just ask HER dude?"

"I have," Leland replied, "She just said it wasn't my business."

"It ISN'T your business brah, it isn't any of our businesses."

"Someone HAS to know who he is brah!"

"Ya, Kila and whoever the guy is."

Oh, so that's what they were talking about: Leland was asking about Leilani's father.

"Oh, and she probably told Toni too. But put it this way bro," Duane Lee continued, "I've known... I knew Toni for years and I've known Kila for months and neither of them ever told me ANYTHING about the guy. And why do you want to know anyway bro?" he asked. "What you gonna do, go find him and beat him up?"

Leland laughed.

"Nah brah, if she wanted that she coulda done it herself."

I could tell they were facing off in the kitchen now.

"Then what's the big deal? Why you wanna know this so bad?"

"I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, OK? It's just... this feeling I have.. I dunno how to expl-"

He was interrupted by a loud crying coming from Duane Lee's room: fuck.

"Aw shit," I heard Leland mutter, "she's home."

"Yes she IS home," I yelled as I got up and headed for the kitchen, "and YOU woke up HER daughter, so YOU, Leland Chapman," I stood in the doorway, arms crossed, "can damn well go and get her back to sleep."

I glared at both of them, Leland almost-cowering and Duane Lee smirking.

"And you wipe that smirk off your face Duane Lee, you didn't help either."

"Sorry Kila," he said.

"You better be," I sighed. He wrapped one big arm around my shoulders.

"He cares about you Kila," he said, nodding down the hall towards his brother. "Don't hate him for that." I sighed again.

"I don't hate him Duane Lee, I really don't. It's just..." I stopped and sighed again.

"What brah? You know you can tell me anything."

"I know," I said as I leaned into him. "I just can't tell you this, not yet. I'm sorry..." he shook his head.

"Don't be. It's obviously something big and knowing you brah, you've kept it quiet a long time." I nodded and smiled a bit. "But I'm here when you wanna share ya?"

"Thanks Duane Lee." He nodded and let me go after one more squeeze, turning to root in the fridge.

The crying had stopped by now, so I assumed Leland was having some success with my girl.

I walked quietly down the hall and peeked around the corner of the doorway; he was standing in the middle of the room, Leilani in his arms while he sang softly to her. She smiled sleepily at me over his shoulder and I just couldn't take it, seeing them together like that.

Tears started flowing down my cheeks and I turned to wipe them away: he must've seen me somehow cuz I heard him call my name softly as footsteps moved towards me.

I ran. Down the hall and out the front door, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't do it, I just couldn't. It wasn't fair, after so long he had to turn up now and unknowingly jump into our lives.

I kicked a tree.

I think that that's what angered me the most, that he didn't even know what he was doing. I kicked the tree again, scraping my toes and making them bleed. I didn't care. I knew it wasn't fair for me to be mad at him for something he didn't know about, because I hadn't told him, or anyone, but I was, I was pissed.

I wanted to scream and cry and run and beat something up all at the same time. So I started punching the tree I'd been abusing with my foot.  
>Finally I stopped and leaned against the tree, sliding to the ground and pulling my knees to my chest, hugging myself.<p>

I don't know how long I sat there before I heard footsteps coming my way. I was expecting it to be Duane Lee but it was a tattooed arm that came into my view as Leland sat next to me.

"Wanna talk?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Dunno what to say," I mumbled.

"Well," he said, "what was that about?" I just shook my head. He sighed, and, as he glanced down, he noticed my hands.

"Kila, you're bleeding," he told me. I nodded. He grabbed my hands and stared at them. "Fuck brah, what did you do?"

"Punched the tree," I told him.

"Why?"

"Felt like it." Apparently I had a thing for 3 words answers right now.

He sighed as he got to his feet.

"You're crazy, you know that brah?"

I shrugged.

* * *

><p>Life pretty much carried on as usual from there. I was still living with the Chapmans, still looking for a place of my own in Honolulu, still trying to get my life back together.<p>

I was out of the house more now, house hunting or at work. I'd gotten a job at the Honolulu branch of Surfer's Paradise and I was working 2-3 nights a week, leaving Leilani with the Chapmans or a sitter if they were all busy, which wasn't often.

Another month or so passed like this, work, life, Leilani, Chapmans. Leland and I worked out together, sometimes going to the gym to spar, sometimes just at home in the garage. Once in a while Duane Lee or someone else would join us, but mostly it was just the two of us and I really started looking forward to that time alone with him; honestly, I was really starting to like him.

Everything was going pretty good. Beth and Dog were more than happy to house me till I found a place, even though that meant I was still rooming with Duane Lee; he didn't mind but I started feeling a little weird about as I started liking Leland. But other than that, things were going well: I was happy here. Funny how it had come to be home to me...

The only problem was Lyssa. Still giving me the cold shoulder, she pretty much refused to speak to me and was just constantly sending me death glares, and I had no idea what I'd done. Duane Lee couldn't tell me, Leland just shrugged, even Beth couldn't shed any light on it for me when I asked her. According to Lyssa, it was time I was gone.

I was puttering around the kitchen one day, trying to figure out what to make for dinner, as I'd just been informed by Beth, with oh so much warning, that the entire Chapman clan, families and friends were all coming for dinner. Crap. What can you cook in less than 6 hours for about, ohhh I dunno, 30 some odd people?

I was smacking my head against a cupboard when Leland walked in.

"Aren't you supposed to be at work?" I asked him, resting my head against the cupboard.

"Nah brah, had to pick my boys up from their mom's," he said. He stared at me, head tilted to the side, that half grin on his face. "But hey," he continued, " if you really WANT me to go to work then I guess I can leave my boys here and-"

"NO!" I cried. "Don't leave. Please. Help me." he laughed at me.

"Who alls coming tonight brah?" I shook my head.

"Oh I don't know, maybe jut EVERYONE?" I groaned.

"Calm down brah, we'll make stew."

"Stew?" I asked.

"Sure," he said, "don't take about of work and feeds a lot of people. We got time and I know there's a ton of beef and vegetables somewhere around this place."

"Sounds good," I muttered.

* * *

><p>We made stew. Lots of stew.<p>

He was right, stew feeds a lot of people, but even so I think we had to make a triple batch to feed everyone.

Beth and Dog were the first home after work. I was up to my elbows in gravy and chopped meat while Leland was across the kitchen surrounded by diced potatoes and carrots.

"Oh, Kila, thanks for doing his girl," Beth started but I cut her off:

"Don't Beth. You've been housing me for months, the least I can do is some cooking and babysitting. Although, a little more notice would be nice if I'm cooking for 30 people." we laughed and hugged and she ran off to shower and change.

People really started arriving after that. Everyone was there that night. And I mean everyone.

First came Duane Lee and his ex wife Theresa and their kids Jodi and Dylan, and Dog's son Wesley. They were followed through the door by Lyssa, her husband Bo and their two girls, Lyssa's daughter Abbie and Bo's daughter Serena. Then came Tim and his 4 kids, Summer, Autumn, Thunder and Storm, followed by Beth's friend Moon and her son Justin.

Soon after, Cecily, Bonnie and Gary came in with another family friend Kili (THAT wasn't confusing at all) and they were followed by Dog's son-in-law Travis and Travis Jr., Wesley from the office and Saren and her boyfriend Jay.

Holy crap was I glad that I hadn't had to cook for all these people alone.

**...**

****and again i just want to point out that, except for the ages of the chapman kids (grown up and little kids) im not really paying the greatest attention to dates because, ya know, this is FICTION, so it can work however i want/need it to ^^ hope you liked it!


	10. Chapter 9

well, here's the next chapter! i tried to work something in for** thekeeperoftime **and i quite like it ^^ also, idk if ive said it before but id like to just point out again that this is FICTION people :P so don't hate me for what i do with the characters because i dunno how they'd really react, never met them. if i had, i probably wouldnt be writing these XD anyways, i hope everyone gets to wake up and find a notice in their inboxes telling them the new chapters up and enjoy ;)

Again, please dont hate me lol

**...**

Life was good.

I was happy, a new occurrence in the last few months. Some people would criticize me for not still being bedridden with grief but that's not who I am, not who or what Toni would've wanted. I missed him, of course I did, but I had to move on with my own life too.

After cooking for 30 people, Leland and I were closer than ever before. I even started to hope that he might like me back, though I didn't like to admit where my hope lay. What can I say, I am who I am.

I'd just recently found a place of my own a few blocks from the Chapman's house in Honolulu and Duane Lee and Leland were supposed to help me move in in a couple weeks. We'd already flown over to the Big Island to sell my old house and move my stuff between islands. It made my heart hurt some to be back and yet saying goodbye, but I had to start over some time.

On the flight home, I woke slowly to find my head resting on Leland's shoulder and his arm wrapped around me. I had no idea how I fell asleep, considering we were only in the air for about a half hour. I shifted a little, and felt his arm tighten around me. I heard a snicker and, turning my head, I saw Duane Lee looking at us across the aisle and grinning. I glared, making him laugh.

"Morning," I heard in my ear.

"Morning," I grumbled.

"Don't mind him brah," Leland said, "he just likes bugging me."

"Yaaa, I know the feeling," I told him. "How long do we have left?"

"Only a couple of minutes till touchdown and probably another 10 till we actually get off."

I sighed and snuggled in a bit. Duane Lee laughed and I flicked a hair elastic at him.

* * *

><p>We drove home, the backs of both Leland's and Duane Lee's trucks full of boxes. I couldn't actually move into my new place for another few days so we piled my stuff in a corner of the Chapman's garage.<p>

It was later that day that I found myself alone, again, with Leland, Duane Lee having gone to find food. We'd been moving the workout equipment around to make room for the boxes and then Duane Lee was gone and we were talking and it felt so nice and I felt so calm and peaceful...

"Anyone tell you you're amazing brah?" Leland asked me, kind of out of the blue.

"Umm," I replied, "not lately they haven't."

"Well, they shoulda more. You're such a strong person Kila," his voice softened. We were just sitting on a bench in the back of the garage and he stapes his arm around me and pulled me close.

"I've had to be," I told him. "My parents were killed in a car crash when I was 13 and I got put through the foster system till I turned 18. Then I had Leilani at 22, which isn't all that young, but it's still hard."

Leland nodded.

"I had my first kid at 18," he said. "Most of the family had kids even younger than that."

"And now Toni's gone too... I'm running out of people Leland." One tear leaked from my eye, it still hurt to say it.

"Kila, you'll always have someone there for u girl." He wiped the tear away with his thumb as he turned my face to look at him. "I'll always be here for you." He drew closer, closer: I could've counted his eyelashes if I'd wanted to. He was so close: he smiled a little shyly and leaned in to close the gap...

...when the garage door crashed open and, you guessed it, in walked Lyssa fucking Chapman.

"Leland," she called to him while glaring at the two of us, mostly me. "Beth said we have to go, right now."

"Really Lyssa? It had to be "Right. Now"?" Leland was glaring right back at his sister.

"Beth said right now," she replied a little snarkily, a little smugly.

"I think she could've waited another MINUTE Lyssa."

"Well you aren't doing anything now," she said, "let's go." I was SO close to strangling her at this point. I think I actually growled as she turned and left the room. Leland sighed next to me.

"I'm sorry Kila," he muttered. I shook my head.

"Not your fault." He pulled me close and gave me a quick kiss on the side of my head.

"I'd better go," he said before standing and walking out. I stood and followed him to the kitchen, where everyone was gearing up for some bounty hunting. Beth spotted as I sort-of snuck in behind Leland.

"Kila! There you are," she exclaimed. "Would you mind watching the kids while we're gone? Saren's not answering and we have to go now."

"Sure," I said with a half-hearted smile. "Who alls here?" It wasn't unusual for there to be anywhere from 2 to 6 kids in the house at any one time, depending on who had their kids with them that day.

"Bonnie and her friend Cassee and Gary Boy, and Cobie's supposed to be coming over later too."

"Kay, no problem."

She looked at me oddly, but smiled after a few seconds and gave me a hug.

"Sorry," she whispered in my ear, and I could tell if he was apologizing for my having to babysit or if she knew what Lyssa had interrupted. "I don't know when we'll be back, hopefully not too late but this could be our only shot at this guy."

"It's ok, just go," I said. "Good luck."

* * *

><p>It was late, LATE, that night when the team got back. I wasn't asleep this time so no one woke me as they came in, although I'm sure they would have with all the noise they made.<p>

As soon as I walked into the kitchen I could tell the bust hadn't gone well. No one was smiling, the guys looked a little worse for wear and Beth was carrying a pair of her stilettos, one of which had the heel broken off. Lyssa scowled at me as soon as I walked in and I sighed inwardly.

"I'm guessing things didn't go too well huh," I said. Duane Lee shook his head and plunked himself down on a kitchen chair.

Leland slammed his pepper ball gun down on the table and even Beth threw her broken shoes down the hall in anger/frustration.

"Shhh, guys," I tried to quiet them; "you'll wake everyone up."

"Whatever," Lyssa muttered. I turned to glare at her.

"YOUR kid was the hardest to get to bed thanks," I told her, "so don't go waking her up."

"Don't tell me how to parent my child," she snapped back.

"Calm down Lyssa," Leland said. "She wasn't telling you how to parent and besides brah, you know Abbie's hard to put to bed so why wake her up?"

"Don't you start too Leland," Lyssa snapped at him.

"Don't snap at me Lyssa!"

"Everyone just-" I started but too late: the sound of a door opening down the hall heralded the awakening of someone's kid.

Turned out it was mine; I'd put her to sleep in the bed instead of the playpen tonight and she'd gotten down and opened the door all by herself, so that I found her toddling down the hall towards the sound of voices, voices that were still getting louder.

I picked her up and carried her back to the kitchen, rocking her and hoping she'd go back to sleep.

We came back into the kitchen in time to see Dog smack both Lyssa and Leland upside the head.

"Everyone just calm down!" I said loudly, "Or it won't be just my kid who wakes up. Why are you two even fighting? You're siblings."

"Oh just shut up for once," Lyssa muttered. I blinked.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," she snapped, "just shut the fuck up!"

I was done with this. I passed Leilani to Duane Lee and walked towards her.

"What is your PROBLEM Lyssa? What have I ever done to you?"

"What have you done, are you fucking kidding me? You, you barge into our lives, worm your way into our family and string both of my brothers along for your own fucked up reasons!"

"Watch your mouth in front of my daughter," I growled

"Screw u."

"What the hell are you even TALKING about Lyssa?"

"You're sleeping with Duane Lee, pretending to be his friend, USING him and stringing him along while it's obvious to anyone with EYES that SHE," she pointed at Leilani, "is HIS!" She finished pointing at Leland. "You're just some lying, twisted, gold digging WHORE!"

She went to slap me but I caught her wrist, twisted her arm behind her and pushed her away across the room.

"You're insane Lyssa! If all I wanted was fame or money then why the hell would I have waited this long before showing up? I knew EXACTLY who my baby's father was, from the day she was born, and I never went looking for him! Even when I saw him on TV, I didn't look him up. When he showed up at the bar, when Toni introduced me to Duane Lee, not ONCE did I go looking for her father!"

The room was silent and all I cud hear was my heavy breathing and pounding heart. Then:

"She's mine?"

I turned towards Leland as he stared at me. I didn't say anything.

"She's mine," he repeated. "You've been living here for HOW long and couldn't be bothered to tell me that SHE'S MINE?"

He'd been walking towards me as he spoke and as his voice rose and he finished speaking he shoved me backwards, into the wall. I felt my head crack against the wood and I saw stars.

His hands were still on my shoulders and I could feel him tightening his grip. I was dizzy and I couldn't see properly and my fighting instinct kicked in: I dropped as I brought my arms up, pushing them outwards and twisting against his arms to break his hold. When he let go of me, I spun and kicked out blindly, connecting with flesh and bone as he let out a grunt I took to mean I'd caught him in the ribs.

I turned back around and took a step forward, trying to steady myself and get ready for Leland to rush me. I could hear him yelling as arms wrapped themselves around me and held me tight. I was ready to fight until I smelled Beth's perfume and heard her voice in my ear:

"Stop fighting girl."

I did, though my whole body was tense, ready for fight-or-flight, and knowing me, it'd be 'fight'. As my vision cleared I could see Duane Lee pinning Leland's arms behind his back while Dog had Leilani on one hip, and Lyssa staring/smirking/glaring at me from where she stood across the kitchen leaning against the fridge. Beth still had her arms wrapped around me and I could feel her heart pounding against my back.

With a final wrench and a cry of anger and frustration, Leland broke away from Duane Lee's hold and stopped in the middle if the room, just staring at me. I half expected him to come at me again but he just shot me a look to kill and stormed out of the kitchen; I heard the front door slam behind him and I felt the wind whip past me as Lyssa sauntered by down the hall.

**...**

soooooo, watcha thiiiink? :) lol i know its kind of a cliffie but dont worry people! i have the start of the next chapter actually written out and most of the rest written out in my head so hopefully within the next day or two ill have it up :) keep R&R-ing! i love to hear what you think :)

oh ya! for those of you who read this and go "huh?" when kila talks about her parents dying? ya, i changed it. in ch3 she mentions her parents dying 2 years ago (no you werent going insane), but i needed to change thta so i did and now its all fixed, you can even go back to ch3 and check if you dont believe me hehe but i fixed it so you wont find anything, i just took out the 2 :P bye!


	11. Chapter 10

Here's the next one :) Talk to me ;)

**...**

The room was silent after that, Leilani wide-eyed and staring, me still being held by Beth and 3, 4 if you count my baby's, pairs of eyes watching me.

I felt myself sag back against Beth and she held me tighter, though I wasn't sure if it was meant to be comforting or just to keep me on my feet.

"You ok?" Beth whispered in my ear. I half shrugged: was I? "Sit down girl," she said, steering me to a chair and pushing me down into it. I hated being watched, I wanted them to look somewhere else. I stared at the wall across the room.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Duane Lee walk across the room to Dog and stopped and looked at Leilani.

"She really does look like him doesn't she," he said quietly. "Dunno how we never noticed before."

Leilani chose that moment to let go of Dog and reach for Duane Lee. He hesitated for a second before taking her from Dog and lifted her onto one hip, where she lay her head against his shoulder and sighed.

"Why didn't you tell anyone Kila?" he asked me.

"I'm sorry," I said lamely. "I guess it just didn't feel right..."

"As far as reasons go," Beth said, "that's pretty pathetic."

"I know. Before, I never told anyone cuz I didn't know who you guys were." I sighed. "Leland and I met at a gym in Kona when I was 21. Jeff, the trainer, he set us to spar because most guys didn't want to fight me, being a girl. Leland didn't care. I beat him." I had to smile a little at that. "After the fight, we went to a bar to hang out, went a little overboard and god flat out drunk. He didn't want to go home to his boys like that so he stayed the night with me, and, well, we had sex. I ended up pregnant and he didn't even remember what happened that night."

"I remember when he came home," Duane Lee spoke up. "He was so hungover and out of it I had to yell at him for a good 10 minutes before he heard me. He slept for the rest of the day." *

"So you didn't know where to find him," Beth said.

"Didn't know where to find him, didn't know if he'd care," I replied. "I met Toni after that, when i was about 8 months in. He was always there for me; after that, i didn't care if i ever found Leland. Then I saw him on tv one day."

"Why didn't you come looking for him then?" Dog asked. I snorted.

"Cuz I didn't care! I didn't need him and I didn't know him: what would it have looked like if I'd come looking only after finding out that he was famous? I didn't want to start a big thing."

"What about at the bar?" Duane Lee asked.

"THAT nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Why didn't you say something then?"

"What was I supposed to say Duane Lee? Hi my name's Kila, I'll be your hostess this evening and oh by the way, we met 3 years ago and you're the father of my child? Ya, bet that woulda gone over great."

"But you didn't try to get in touch after that?" It was Beth's turn. I shook my head.

"Again, why bother when it could do more harm than good?"

"And when Toni introduced us?" Duane Lee pointed out.

I sighed: I didn't really have an answer for this one.

"Honestly guys, I didn't want to mess up anyone's life. Duane Lee, trying to find Leland through you would've put you in the middle. I didn't want that. And I didn't want to mess with your friendship with Toni or, eventually, with me."

"But what about-"

"OK! There were lots of times I could've said something. I know I should've said something sooner but I... Didn't know how. I didn't want you guys to hate me or... Anything." I ended lamely, staring down at the table. I heard a collective sigh go around the room, then 3 pairs of arms surrounded me.

"We wouldn't hate you Kila," Beth said. "We all know what it's like being a single parent and we've all made some choices that maybe haven't been so great. We have to learn from our mistakes and move on with life."

"Lyssa and Leland both hate me," I countered.

"Nah brah," Dog said. "Lyssa doesn't hate you, she just thought you were messing with her family. And Leland... He'll cool off with time, it's just the shock and I think he's mad at himself too for not figuring it out. But he loved Leilani before he knew he was her father and he'll want to be in her life now that he does."

"Any guess on how long that'll take?" I asked miserably. I just got squeezed tighter as a response.

"Thank you," I said as I disentangled myself from them. "Really. I don't know where I'd be without all of you. Would you mind if I was alone for a bit though?"

* * *

><p>I ended up wandering out back to the pool, where I sat and dangled my feet in the water. I was there maybe five minutes, and I thought I was alone, but all of a sudden I heard footsteps and I looked up to find Leland at the end of the pool, walking towards me and glaring.<p>

"Leland," I managed, jumping to my feet, sliding a little in the water on the deck. He just glared as he walked past me towards the house.

"Wait!" I called, grabbing his arm.

"What?" he snarled back.

"Please Leland, let me-"

"Let you explain?" he cut in. "Explain what? Why you never tried to find me? Why you never even bothered to tell me that I have a daughter? No, you had so many chances to say something Kilauea, to 'explain'. Now I just don't want to hear it."

Wow. That made me take a step back: even my mother never called me Kilauea unless she was seriously pissed.

I hadn't realized I still had a hold on his arm until he yanked it from my grip and made to walk by, but when he did he sent me stumbling backwards, where I slipped in the puddle at my feet and fell back, right into the pool.

When I surfaced, gasping and coughing, he was still there, glaring at me but as soon as I started swimming towards the side of the pool, he turned his back to me and walked back inside, slamming the door behind him.

Heaving myself from the water, I just sat there: how did I screw this up so so badly? My eyes stung and pool water wasn't the only thing dripping down my face.

Pulling my knees to my chest, I sat by the pool and just cried and cried.

**...**

****ok, so kinda short and miserable but whats life and love without a little heartache right? dont hurt me :P it has to be sad before it can be happy again. im working on the next one, its sort of written out in my head but havent put anything down on paper... er, word doc? lol also, im introducing something new for my stories. anyone notice the little '*' (asterix) thing up there? *points up* not a typo. that is where i will be writing a flashback in a seperate one shot type thing. i though about putting it in the story but it didnt really feel right cuz i havent done it before. there will most likely be more than one in the future, sont really know when ill get this one done either and i might even go back through the story and add some in :P i'll let you know :)


	12. Chapter 11

here's the next one :) as a warning, i'm trying to get this up before i go to bed and my laptops going in to get fixed tomoro so i will be sans a good computer for x amount of time so im trying to post this chapter before that so that you have something to enjoy, seeing as fanfiction doesnt have any way for you to upload from your ipod/phone etc as far as i know. (if they do PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO DO IT!). my whole point here is that im not doing much editing so if there's some glaring issue let me know and i'll fix it but otherwise, enjoy and r and r :) reviews make for happy author! :)

**...**

Beth came out to find me later, probably only a few minutes later really. She wrapped a towel around my shoulders as she sat down next to me.

"He hates me," I muttered. "He has every right to hate me. Why don't you hate me?" I asked.

"You did what you thought was best at the time," Beth said softly, "no one's going to blame you for that."

I stared at her.

"He'll get over it," she sighed.

"No one knew," I said, "never told anyone but Toni. Lyssa figured it out, hell even Maui knew right away. Why didn't anyone else notice anything?"

"I did," Beth said. I stared at her.

"You- you knew?" She nodded. "But.. Why didn't you say anything?"

"I figured you had your reasons for not saying something girl. For all I knew, you and Leland were ashamed of it and wanted to keep it quiet, not that I could figure out WHY something like that would be, but I knew you'd explain when you wanted to."

"I didn't know how to tell him," I sighed. "I wanted to so many times, but what was I supposed to say? Remember that night that you don't remember 3 years ago? Hey guess what Leilani's your daughter? I just didn't want to ruin everything. Guess it's too late for that now..."

"It's never too late Kila. Leland loves kids, especially his kids. He won't be able to stay mad forever when Leilani's around, he's missed enough of her life already."

I wiped my eyes and scrubbed at my face with the towel before wrapping my arms around Beth and hugging her tight.

"Mahalo Beth, thank you for everything."

* * *

><p>I moved out the next day. Beth and Dog said they were sorry to see me go but Lyssa was more than happy for me to be gone. Leland hadn't come back since the night before, but I doubt he was very sad to see me go either.<p>

Leland had been supposed to help Duane Lee and me but that obviously wasn't happening now, so Duane Lee called his cousin Justin over to help. Turns out Justin was the younger guy who'd been with Leland and Duane Lee at Surfer's Paradise in Kona.

I left Leilani with Beth and we loaded my boxes into the back of the vehicles and drove the few blocks from the Chapman's house to my new place. It was a nice apartment on the 5th floor, 3 bedrooms, 1 bath, with deep red walls and floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room.

Boxes were stacked 2 or 3 high all around the living room, down the hall and in the bedrooms, so we were all wading through a sea of cardboard. The apartment came fully furnished, so most of what needed doing was unpacking after the guys were gone.

Should be real fun with a toddler running around.

* * *

><p>"Thanks for the help guys," I said stepping out of Duane Lee's car back at the Chapmans'.<p>

"No problem brah," Justin called as he shut his own car off and got out.

"Ya," Duane Lee added, "any time Kila." I smile at him as we went inside.

I found Leilani playing in the back with the rest of the kids. She ran to me and hugged my legs. Laughing I hoisted her onto my hip and spun around.

"Lele, baby, we have to go now," I told her. "Say buh bye to the kids for today."

She waved goodbye as we walked back inside.

"Where we going mommy?" she asked.

"Remember I told you that we're not going to be living with Beth and Dog anymore?" She nodded.

"Cuz Uncle Lelan's mad at you."

I almost tripped with surprise.

"Who told you that?" I asked her.

"Cobie." Of course, she had to be hanging around with Leland's kids. I sighed.

"Yes Leland's mad at me right now but-"

"Why?"

"I'll explain it later baby," I said as I buckled her into her carseat. "But that's not why we're leaving brah. We need somewhere to live that's just for us. Beth and Dog let us stay with them but it's time to leave, we have our own house and that's where we're going now."

* * *

><p>"Leilani PLEASE slow down!" I yelled down the hall to my 3 year old terror. Apparently exploring our new house meant running everywhere, throwing things and turning boxes upside down.<p>

I heard a thump, a moment of silence and then a scream. Sighing, I put down the box of books I'd been emptying and walked to the other end of the apartment, where my daughter sat crying after running into a wall.

"This is why you have to calm down brah," I explained as I carried her to the kitchen and sat her on the counter. Tears streamed down her little face as she sucked her thumb and sobbed. "Where's it hurt baby?"

She pointed at her forehead, where a tiny red mark had appeared. I kissed it lightly and smiled.

"Better?" she nodded, but kept crying.

In the middle of this chaos, someone decoded to knock on my door: someone from administration with forms for me to sign about pets. Then the phone rang, wrong number.

I tripped over the coffee table and went flying, bruising my shins and shoulder.

Leilani was crying and holding onto my leg.

Somewhere my cell phone was ringing.

When someone decided to knock on my door a second time, I grabbed the handle and yanked it open:

"WHAT?"

There on my figurative doorstep stood Maui.


	13. Chapter 12

ok, i know its really super short, im sorry! but it just didnt feel right to add anything more after the last sentence. im trying to get the next chapter written but its scholarship application season so we'll see... enjoy

**...**

Well, THIS was different. Maui stood outside my door, flanked by Cobie and Dakota.

"What do you want Maui?" I asked.

"Can I come on?"

I shrugged, then turned and went back to the kitchen, Maui following me. The boys ran down the hall to explore, my daughter tailing them.

I grabbed a glass of water and leaned on the counter.

"So why are you here Maui?" I asked.

She pulled up a chair and sat, making the tension in the room diminish slightly. Body language is an interesting thing that we don't pay much attention to.

"I heard what happened between you and Leland," she said. "Dakota says he's mad at you."

"Gee, news to me." I rolled my eyes.

"Was it about your daughter?" she asked. "He is the father isn't he."

It wasn't really a question but I nodded anyway.

"And you never told him?"

"Do you have a point here Maui?" I sighed. She raised her hands in a placating way.

"I'm not here to preach to you Kila, just to give you another point of view. Have you thought about how he'll be feeling right now? What he'll be thinking?" she paused and thought a minute. "Look, we were married a long time, i've seen how he thinks. He's not just angry with you, he'll be pissed at himself too, for not figuring it out and for missing out on so much of her life.

"When she was born he wasn't there to hold her, never got to see her first smile, hear her first laugh, the first time she sat up, her first steps, her first words. Leland LOVES kids, any kids, but especially his own.

"I don't know why you didn't tell him," here eyes bore into mine and I had to look away, "and I don't much care really, but maybe you could apologise for not telling him and let him into her life before its too late."

She got up and pushed her chair back under the table before coming over to me and giving me a hug.

"Just think about it Kila," she said before calling to the boys and heading for the door. I stayed where I was and just stared out the window at the clouds, thinking.

Later, after I'd put Leilani to bed, I sent a single text: _I'm sorry_


	14. Chapter 13

YES i know, its been forever and im REEEEAAALLLLLLLLYYYYYYY sorry . PLZ forgive me *puppydog eyes* life tends to get in the way of things. i would have let you know that i am still working on it BUT i REFUSE to make a chapter purely out of an A/N because i dont want to get everyones hopes up for a new chapter and then its just me saying im working on it -_- also, for those of you who read any of my other stories, i PROMISE that NONE of them are 'abandoned' and i WILL get back to them! ...eventually -_- also, i apologise for it being a bit short compared to normal but its something right? right? :P

so ANYWAYS, BACK TO THE STORY! thank u again to thekeeperoftime who gave me the idea for this one and to all of u who give me feedback (cuz i NEED IT PPL! KEEP IT UP!)

hope u enjoy :)

**...**

I was hanging upside down on my couch, my feet dangling over the back, Leilani asleep on my stomach. I was watching the home videos of Leilani, Toni and me and I was crying. Again.

Seems like I haven't done much else the past week. I've left my apartment about 5 times, twice for work and the rest for groceries or something.

I've met a few of my neighbours: Asian couple across the hall and their 2 kids, twins, a girl and a boy; weird guy, kinda creepy, in the place down the hall, and a college couple sharing the apartment below me.

Nothing really interesting.

Half my stuff was still in boxes. Ok, not really, just felt like half of it. A never ending half of it...

Which is how I ended up here; I'd been unpacking more stuff and I'd found the box of old tapes: old fights I'd been in, Makani's and Jason's wedding, my ENTIRE labour process (rated 14+ for disturbing content), all of Leilani's firsts, Toni's funeral (don't ask why I have a tape of that, I don't even know how it got into my stuff).

This was how id spent most of that particular Friday, can I be any more if a loser that I spend my Friday night watching home movies and crying.

Oy. I need a life. Preferably a sex life. Ha ha. So not happening.

So ya, eventually I decided the blood rush to my head probably wasn't good for me so I got up and carried Leilani to her bed, before I headed for mine, to crawl in and stare out the window.

I am so pathetic right now.

-

My toddler managed to drag me to the beach the next morning, which would have been a nice change, Hawaii has the most beautiful beaches. But, considering Hawaii is nothing but a chain of islands, there happens to be a LOT of beaches. And yet, of ALL the beaches on the island, I/we manage to end up at the same one as Leland. It didn't really surprise me honestly, considering my luck lately.

After setting up our towels on the sand, I took Leilani down to play at the water's edge. It was a sunny day, with just enough breeze to keep from overheating and the waters were nice and calm. Leilani was next to me playing in the sand. I leaned back and closed my eyes, just listening to the gulls and the waves. I could hear some kids laughing, coming towards us.

"Hey!" I heard one of them call. I kept my eyes closed, turning my face to the sun. Leilani laughed.

"HEY!" the boy called again, closer and louder this time. A shadow came over me, I opened my eyes and looked up, to see Dakota looking down at me.

"Heey Kota," I said, as Cobie sat down beside me. Behind him I could see Leland looking at me. I say 'looking' because it wasn't staring and it wasn't quite _glaring_ but he definitely wasn't smiling.

"Hi," I said. He nodded back to me. Oy, this is gonna be hard.

"Come on boys," he said, as I stood.

"Leland," I started, "can I-"

"We gotta go." And he started walking away down the beach. His boys waved and followed him and I sat staring after them as Leilani called "Buh-byeeee".

Later that night I had an epiphany-esque moment. I laid Leilani down to sleep, and proceeded to spend the rest of the night downloading my home videos into my computer, all of the ones featuring Leilani, and copying them to disks.

The next day, I boxed them up and taped a note to the top, drove to the Chapman house, where Beth let me in, and left the box on his bed.

_Leland,_

_I thought you might like to see these, as you weren't able to be there in person at the time._

_Kila xo_


	15. Chapter 14

Ok, so next chapter. Surprisingly not the longest chapter in this story but close to. Definitely longer than the last of and hopefully it makes up for it :) I do warn: this is a fairly graphic chapter so if you really can't handle it, read the first couple paragraphs and the last few lines and it'll WORK, but I rlly recommend reading the entire thing. keep up with the feedback or I won't know what the ppl reviews make for happy author :D enjoy!

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We were late coming home the next night. Leilani was asleep in her carseat in the back as i pulled into the underground parking of our building.

I envied her: I was exhausted. First, she woke me up at 3 in the morning and wouldn't go back to sleep for an hour, then she was up again, bright and early, at 7. This was followed by a toddler who didn't want to nap and was then cranky for the rest of the day. Coincidentally, I had to work tonight and, joy of joys, the sitter called in sick, so Leilani had to come to work with me.

So after very little sleep an a day filled with crying, screaming, yelling and just general stress, not all of which had come from the 3 year old, we were finally back home.

Thank god. I was exhausted, sweaty, tired, sore and smelling of booze. Did I mention tired? That too. All the while in a T-shirt, skirt and heels that should be made illegal for the lack of stability. Awesome night brah...

Typical, the lights in this part of the lot were out. This is just how ALL the horror movies go. Tired, the girl heads home and ends up in her dark parking garage, where she gets grabbed from behind and either killed or forced into a car to be sold as a sex slave in Thailand or somewhere. Oy.

I got out and closed the door, heading around to the trunk to grab my work/diaper bag and set it at my feet. I was so tired I just wanted to get inside and crawl into bed.

Taking a minute, I leaned on my hands against the car, looking in at my girl. Across the lot I could hear footsteps and a car door closing.

The next thing I knew, a hand was covering my mouth as my own flew up to claw at the arm that had snaked around my throat, cutting off my air. I could smell alcohol and garlic coming from the guy holding me against his chest.

Great, I was going to be sold as a sex slave to Thailand. Fantastic.

"Well, you're a pretty thing," the bastard chuckled. Is a there a nastier way to laugh than chuckle? There must be..

He shoved me against the car, one hand still covering my mouth, and I saw Leilani stir. My eyes widened an flicked to the side, trying to see his face. He hadn't noticed her yet! My keys were still in my hand. I hit the lock button, causing the car to beep loudly and startle him, and I took that chance to throw the keys a far away as I could, before he turned me around and smacked me across the face.

It kind of hurt, but he didn't have the right angle to do any real damage. He had both hands around my wrists now, holding them against the side of my car as he pushed his body against me, lips crushing mine. I tried to turn away, keeping my mouth shut tight as his tongue (ew) tried to force its way in.

I went to knee him in the balls but overbalanced in my heels and fell sideways, bringing him down along with me to conveniently (for him) land on top of me.

Stupid shoes, I'm never wearing these heels again.

He laughed and grinned at me.

"Thanks babe, you just made this easier," he said as he straddled me, at the same time pulling my arms above my head and holding them there one-handed.

I kneed him in the tail bone.

He punched me in the stomach.

I gasped, and he took the opportunity to shove his tongue (EW!) into my mouth. In the time it actually took me to register this, his other hand had managed to pull my shirt down, push my skirt up and was working its way into my underwear. I squirmed, he laughed.

I think my brain was in shock, and that's why it took so long to register anything. As soon a it caught up with what was happening, I bit down on his tongue until I tasted blood. He screamed and jerked and tried to hit me to make me let go. When I finally did, he reeled back from me and I got a really good look at his face: lo and behold it was the creepy guy from down the hall, wonderful.

I've noticed that my brain is very sarcastic in moments of crisis.

Unfortunately, he'd had enough recovery time to get really pisses at me and decide to retaliate, which he proceded to do with gusto, (Gusto, really, THATS the adjective/adverb/whatever that I come up with? Sigh.) punching me repeatedly in the ribs, which really did hurt and would probably leave bruises. Though that might be a food thing for the cops.

Speaking/thinking of the cops, why wasn't I screaming? Maybe I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. But I did realize I'd been scratching at his hand/wrist the entire time, enough to draw blood, so yay me!

Wow I really think off-topic sometimes.

Apparently he decided he was tired of hitting me sooo he went in for another kiss. You'd think he'd learn, but no. So I bit him again. And kneed him in the tail bone.

He grabbed my hair an smashed my head into the pavement. I think I might've hear something crack, bad sign. Annnd hello concussion.

I'm sad to say that I actually let out a bit of a scream and went limp, which is what he wanted as his fingers shoved themselves inside me.

My mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish out of water before my brain kicked back in as my underwear were ripped off and he fumbled with his pants, managing to pull them down far enough for his cock to hang out. I really tried not to look at it: he found that hysterical for some reason as he half crawled his way farther up my body towards my face.

I kicked, I squirmed, scratched, spit, hissed and whatever else you can think of. I even managed a scream, loud and ear piercing, before he shoved himself into my mouth.

It was a stupid move really, on both our parts: me for opening my mouth in the first place, and him for PUTTING PART OF HIS BODY IN MY MOUTH. This guy really never learned did he. I bit down yet again, but not enough to draw blood this time before he smashed my head into the ground again. And again. And again.

My thoughts were starting to fuzz and my vision was blurring and i think i might've blacked out for a second but all of a sudden the garage was flooded with light and I was blinded as I heard brakes screech and someone, a man, yelling.

I felt the bastard get yanked off of me and heard him cry out as he hit the side of a parked car. My head throbbed in protest of the light and I closed my eyes and I admit I smiled a little when I heard the crunch of that asshole's nose breaking as someone smashed their fist into it.

I definitely blacked out for a minute after that cuz I could hear Leilani screaming and crying when I woke up. It occurred to me, fuzzily, that she should have been crying before this and might have been, only I hadn't registered it.

"Kila, Kila can you hear me?" someone asked near my head. A shadow crossed my face as whoever it was leaned over me. I scrunched my face up, trying to convince myself to open my eyes. It occurred to me that I hadn't moved from where I'd been left when the... The.. I needed another synonym but that GUY had been pulled off me. Cuz that's embarrassing at all. I just couldn't quite manage to convince my body to move...

"Kila?" the voice asked again. My lips moved as I tried to form words to ask a million questions, like who was this, where had they come from, WHY had they come.

"What is it?" he asked. I'd decided it was a guy, I remembered a man yelling and it seemed like there was only one person.

"L-" I tried: my lips cracked, my voice cracked, my throat and head protested but out of my mouth came: "Leilani?"

"It's alright," he told me, "she's here. I put her in my car, can you hear her?" I nodded and my head throbbed in protest.

"Oww.." I moaned. Everything hurt and I didn't want to move but I wanted to move...

I tried to sit up, and realized my hands were still laying above my head, so I moved them, slowly, cuz I couldn't move any other way at the moment, down to my sides and tried to push myself up.

And failed miserably. I mean, i didn't even get my head off the ground. It was probably laughable really, I just wouldn'tve been able to manage it, even if I wanted to. And I just didn't really feel like it just then.

"Here, let me help," and I felt hands and strong arms slide under my arms and, slowly, pull me up into a half sitting position leaned up against him. I couldn't keep my head up and I let out a cry of pain as it flipped back and tears started to slide down my cheeks.

Gentle hands lifted my head to lean against his chest and wipe the tears from my face.

"Shh, it's alright," he whispered. My body was starting to shake uncontrollably and more tears leaked from beneath my eyelids. Arms wrapped around me and held me tight; I breathed deeply, catching his scent as I tried to control my body.

I could hear sirens faintly in the distance, but coming closer and a twitched, wanting to get up but not able to.

"I called them," he told me as I shook my head in protest, which in turn caused my head to protest the protest and finally I just lost complete control of my body and he just held me tight as my body shook and I gasped and sobbed and tears streamed down my face.

"Le- Leland!" I managed. Arms tightened around me again and he gently kissed the top of my head.

"Shh, it'll be ok Kila, I'm here."


End file.
